A Slow Heart Beat (Cotton x cray)

7 - Thoughts

  My eyes jolt open as my arm stings with pain.

  I must have passed out

  Gripping onto the wall to keep my balance I search for my phone that was on my bed. The bright light of my phone flashes at my face as I squint my eyes to see what time it is - 2:31 am
  I throw my phone back onto the bed and stumble out of my room and into the bathroom.

So tired... .. .

  I flip the switch and the lights in the bathroom flicker on, rubbing my eyes I stare into the mirror. I was wearing a dark green sweater and a pair of blue jeans and a dark green beanie but when I looked at my face. My eyes were stained from tears and they were dark and red.
I look like shit

  Laying on my bed with a cold stare facing toward the ceiling, I turn to face the window that was covered with dark colors of gray. The curtains were slightly pulled apart, letting in a little sliver of moonlight. As I stared at the light, my eyes began to water.
Worthless...
 
               Pathetic...
 
                         Waste of space... .. .

--

    I sat in the kitchen, listening to the clock tick as I waited.

Pop
  I stand up and out of my chair as I make my way to the toaster, one piece of bread.
  Grabbing it out of the toaster.. a slight warmth... . .

I look at the bread and fell sick to my stomach.
The trash can shuts as I hurry to get my shoes on.

What a waste.


---


  When I showed up for school, I was about 30 minutes late but when I made it to my first period it had a sign on the door, 'Out Sick'. I sighed a relief and walked toward the nearest bathroom. Walking to the last stall, I lock the door and sit on the toilet. I was so tired.

    I wake up in a cold sweat as I find myself where I was before I fell asleep, the bathroom. I stumble out of the stall and fumble around in my bag to find my phone. Turning on the bright screen, I read 2:37 pm.
   I missed all my classes.

Wow how pathetic

    Walking out of the bathroom into the cold empty hall, I make my way to where the piano I love to play sits.

  I glance to my left and find the double doors to the auditorium, pushing them open I find the piano sitting on the stage waiting to be played.

     Throwing my bag to the side, I sit on the small chair in front of the piano and used my hand to dust off the little specks of dust that lay there.

Resting my hands on the keys I begin to play.

After I played the last note, a tear fell from my face, "God why can't I stop crying? it's not even that big of a deal.." 

I looked down at my hands that were still placed on the keys.

 A pair of arms wrapped around me. It startled me a first but it was so warm and comforting.

Yet, why do I still feel cold?