A Place Just For Us (Rick Grimes)

Chapter Forty: Small Talk

‍  ‍ 

❝ Clear blue water
High tide came and brought you in ❞

‍  ‍ 
"We're really going to a party now, huh?" That's what I had said to Carol the next day.

     How had I let myself go this far? It surprised me how eagerly I had participated in Deanna's invite, and spurred on it, and even tried to convince Daryl to show his face, too, just for a short while.

It was easy to see I was striving for normality.

Had it always been there, though camouflaged, and all I'd needed was a while in Alexandria to let it out? It slowly gripped me and seemed to define itself ever more clearly the more I became aware of how easy and safe life could be behind these walls.

     And when I, Rick, Carl and Carol made our way to Deanna's place for the promised welcoming party, the feeling came back on the double as if to score a point each time I thought I'd felt the last of it.

"Oh, my— welcome!"

It was Deanna who greeted us with pure joy when we stepped foot in her home. Hers was slightly bigger than the one we got, but the design of it was by far the same.

Rick placed his hand on my lower back. I forcefully plastered a smile on my face to greet the host with as she approached us. The feeling of the possibility of the world ending still had a hold on me, but I guess this place was once again enough to make me feel somewhat safe.

"Oh, it's so good to see you." She gave each of us a welcoming look. Had she guessed what I was feeling? "Hi, Carl. Thank you for coming."

Rick exchanged some words with Deanna, his hand continuously resting on my back while neither of us really noticed the act. I remained remotely quiet. Who knew it would take so much to get used to a party?

On the other side of things, my eyes were secretly scanning the room. It only occurred to me that I was looking for my brother once I found him. I wasn't sure if I wanted to be the one to approach him, or if I wanted to let him come to me again— either way, I didn't want to come off as rude again, or uninterested.

"I don't know about this." I sighed when Deanna had left us to chat with her husband.

Rick slipped his hands in his pockets, leaving my back with an aching need for his touch. "They have beer." He said and chuckled quietly.

I wanted to remove myself from this bog of hesitation and I didn't know how to do it. "Getting drunk is the last thing we should be doing, Rick." I chuckled along with him, now facing him.

     "Of course not. But a little bit of fun won't hurt." He reminded me of the truth that I'd hidden away myself.

     I smiled up at him. I admired every single feature of his and now that the beard had gone, it had been way more difficult to break away from them each time I looked at him. "But not too much fun. We definitely should keep our heads cool right now, don't you think?"

     "We'll see about that tonight." He said quite teasingly before placing a quick kiss on my lips. "I'll get you something."