I fell in love

Do You Think About Me?

Natsu__

Lucy, she's great but...

I want to break up.

LMAO JK, She is the best thing to come into my life ever since... ever. Although I'm worried about her, there were a few times when I tried kissing her and she freaked out. I don't blame her at all, after what she went through PTSD is normal. I just want her to be better than okay. If she's okay, then I'm okay. But if she isn't then I definitely am not.

Flashback——

"Luc, c'mer." I called out.

She nodded and came over to me. I was sitting on the couch in my house, soon Lucy and I were. I gave her a quick kiss as we started to watch a movie. Just to be cheesy I kissed her when the protagonist kissed the antagonist, Yeah is was a good falls in love with bad movie. As it turns out the kiss got a little heated. As soon as I put my hand on her waist she totally  and absolutely freaked.
She literally jumped up on the couch and ran into the bathroom.
I didn't know what to do, I heard her crying. I couldn't help but think

I did that
I made me girlfriend cry
That is my fault

This naturally upset me, I tried talking to her through the bathroom door. But the more I talked the harder she cried. I had to give her some alone time because when I was with her I clearly made it worse.

I can't tell you how awful I felt. It's the worst feeling to see your best friend in so much pain and you can't do a thing about it. All I could do is site there and listen to her cry. She went home soon after, little did she know that I followed her.
Not to stalk her, only to make sure she got home safe. Once she did, I want back home.

- end of flashback

That brings me to where I am now. On my bed thinking about what happened. I blame what I've done on myself and myself only. I shouldn't have been so insensitive to her feelings. I want to say that I'm over thinking, but Lucy deserves all the thought I have to give.
I want to be of some help to her. Does she love me like I love her. Or will she ever love me, I know she does. I'm just so so scared. Not for me but for her, I know everyday she faces her own battles.

Lucy's POV—-

I know I did something wrong. But Natsu is the world to me, he really is. Before I wanted to leave this world and I wanted to say goodbye but there was nobody left. Yet here I am with good friends who are there for me and are fun. Yet I feel like no one understands. I hope someday you'll understand.
Natsu, I feel as if he understands me in every way someone could be understood. I can't help but spazz out, it's not like I want to. It's just that my mind goes into overdrive and my body tells me to get the hell out.

Every now and again I wonder if he is thinking about me too. I've gone through a lot with him. He's my very best friend. We knew each other for about half a year and then we started dating. I was and still am on cloud nine. Although the last messes everything up.
My dad then Luke. It's a memory that never ends, and recently its been pulling me in. Does Natsu love me the way I love him.
I do not want to sound crazy and obsessed here, but I love him so much that I can't take it. I want to kiss him and I want all of those things. And I can't have them because of them.
Luke and Dad my enemies so alike.

Natsu since the day I met him was the best part of me. Without him I'm going nowhere. Life is so uncertain and lonely, I might know that better than anyone. I feel like I'm choking.  I feel weak and useless to him though.  I think about him about him all the time, when I'm lost at sea he's on my mind.
He's with me on my lonely nights. He's the only one who can save me and I think I'm not giving him enough. He deserves so much more that than I am giving him.
I can't escape the hate lately, and guess whose on my mind to help me.
Even when he's not there he's always helping me. He's the fuel to my fire.
He takes the wrong from the right.

It's a literal fairy tail, as living proof I can say fairytales aren't as great as they make them. I was captured and saved by the handsome prince.
That handsome prince is the positive voice on the inside that always revived me. It puts the color to my black and white. I only want to give him more than I am able.

As for Luke, I haven't talked to him in months. And that is for the better, so if I want to resolve this issue I should head to its roots. The monster who sits in the darkness probably waiting for me. If I want to get over this I need to overcome the problem.
But nobody can fix me if I'm part of the problem. So I'll have to fix the other part. Luke...

I'll have to talk to him, not to get closure between us. Closure is something I will never get and I've long since accepted that. I can't make Natsu do everything for me, I am my own person.
I'll do this alone.

I hope that I can do this alone.

I won't break down in front of him.

I will get clarity for myself

Not closure for him

I will survive and I will succeed.

I will overcome Luke.

Mark My Words, I Will Win.