Irradiated

Chapter 32: An Old Ache

A strange emotion took hold in the atmosphere at that given moment. Neither of us was sure how we were supposed to respond to each other. We were stuck in the unrecognizable feeling of... Well... We had no name for it. It was quite unfamiliar to either of us. Perhaps it was an uncertainty. We weren't sure how the other would react, yet we remained in our statued positions just to find out.

"Mathias, I..." Derrick began to speak, but didn't seem to have any words to match what he was trying to say. I only stared, I myself, unable to say anything to break what had become of my peaceful state of mind. Burgundy calmed himself, seeing as how I was showing him that I didn't feel threatened by Derrick. This could have been only on the outside.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him the first thing that came to be processed in my unfaithful mind.

His look turned vacant and completely distant. He seemed to tremble as he spoke and for the very first time, his voice cracked. "I killed her." Seeing as how I could see his eyes, tears began to well in them. "I killed her." He repeated in a whisper.

I stared at him, my mouth slightly parted as if about to say something. Yet again, I had nothing to say. What could have been said? She was completely either insane, evil, or both, but she was his mother... He ended her life and it had to leave a stinging wound.

"I came here because it's the only place I have left to go." He sadly gazed at me. "I knew nothing about the people I was meant to take to her, but when I finally got to know them, I once again began to hate my mother with a passion." I nodded, allowing him to speak. I was still angry with him for what he had done, but I needed to hear him out. Especially since I knew his crooked heart was leaning towards the right place.

I motioned towards a nearby smooth rock, hoping he would catch on that I wanted him to sit. He did. His whole stature seemed to be a completely different person altogether. He no longer had his dark-colored clothing, he no longer wore his hair to cover his face, and most of all, he expressed emotion. He changed, but he changed for the better. I liked to think that it was because of Angeli and I. It could be that we had shown him something he may not have experienced before: friendship.

"I was already in a heated hate-love relationship with my mother. I hated her because she used me. She used me because I hated her. I was her gatherer. I gathered what she wanted and waited for my next task once they were dead. I despised it, I truly did, but what could I do? She had people everywhere. No matter where I tried to go, she would always find me. I could never escape what she was causing me to go through." He paused. "She became... Something I can't describe... It's not even enough to say she was a monster. Once my father died, she was left with a month-old son that she had to raise on her own. I have never known her sane side, from before my birth, but I knew her insanity all too well."

"Why did this time make a difference to the other times you've done this? You could've just done the same thing and not have had to worry about going through all this." I was only confused in a small portion, but he quickly clarified it.

"It's as she says. You're no normal person, Mathias. I could say the same for Angeli. You two... You hold bonds with every person you speak to. Naomi loved Angeli to pieces, like a best friend she had wished to keep. In turn, Angeli feels the same towards you. And to be honest, I saw this as a clear reason to change my fate. It was set in stone, but have you ever tried to explode that stone and create a new one?"

"Many times..." I admitted, grinning a bit.

"I wish I could have stopped so many of the people you knew from dying, but the Rich Guards were hot on my case. That's why they were always trying to get at us. That's why they delayed us at the asylum. They were punishing me without confirming their suspicions. Then... Then the line was drawn and they crossed it." He closed his eyes. Once they were opened again, the once-blue eyes seemed to burn with an electric rage. "She came into that room next to yours. It was when I ran out, remember? She was telling me... Telling me everything I had helped her do... All I had allowed to happen."