All These Boys and I'm Still Single

An ex-almost | Another Chance?

2 years later*

I went to Milan for the summer before my last year in university. One more year and I will finally graduate. Over the course of time, my communication with Luke lessened. He's being transitioned as young as he is, in taking over in their family company. Even though he seemed to slowly walk out if the picture, I still didn't forget him. I've met so many guys but none of them is like him. Nothing beats first love after all.

For years, I kept the place in my heart just for him. In case when the time comes, when we are both ready of what we can give and receive, I can fully accept what is to come wholeheartedly.

Milan, this city where my dead heart came alive almost 4 years ago. And it is in this city where I met the one that changed my life.

It's been three years. Even texting Luke is like being back in square one. Despite the uncertainty, I took the initiative.

"I'm in Milan. Do you want to meet up where we last met? -T" I sent a text message.

I know that seeing him will just open up emotions that I had decided to tuck away and not to unfold until the time comes. I'm secretly waiting for him to come back and mend my broken heart.

"Tori! It's good to hear from you! Yes, I'll be there." That was his reply.

------

I was already standing at our meeting place way earlier than said. I saw him walk towards me from afar, smiling from ear to ear. He greeted me with a hug that was enough to compensate the years we haven't seen each other.

Before even letting go, I looked at him and the whole world around me suddenly faded. The spark was still there. There was still magic, but I reminded myself to not expect otherwise I'll just get hurt again.

"I missed you," he said.

"I missed you, too," I replied.

"How have you been?" he asked.

As we exchanged stories from the past few years, we walked around the baywalk and just enjoyed the cold breeze of the wind.

As we were walking side by side, I couldn't help but think that this guy beside me is the one who broke my heart. Yet he is the one that can make it whole. What do I want to get out from this reunion? Would I feed myself some false hopes? or would I just simply enjoy the moment and the gift of this friendship?

I loved feeling the sand brushing against my feet. It had been so long since I'd stepped onto a beach and I didn't realize how much I'd missed it until the moment I felt the sand between my toes. And what made it perfect was that I was with Luke, my special friend. After two years, this moment was the most content I felt. In my favourite place, with a special friend just gazing at the wild waves.

I already warned myself that I shouldn't develop any feelings towards him but somehow, being with him again made me dive in to the expectations of a possibility of us. I wouldn't want to give meaning to the gestures he is making. I know actions speak louder than words but in this context, I think I need more words to spell out what he was actually saying thru his actions.

My hands wrapped around my shoulders because it was getting chilly. He removed his coat and did the gentlemanly thing and put it around my shoulders. I returned the favour my giving a smile.

Silence filled the atmosphere.

"Tori, I've been meaning to ask you this," he said. "Do you have a special someone in your life now?"

"I've always had a special someone and I've kept a special place in my heart just for him," I told him. I was not going into specifics to let those play in his mind.

"Oh yeah? Do you wanna share who?" he asked, intrigued.

"It's still the same person. It never changed," I said flatly.

From the corner of my eye, I saw him crack a smile.

"But -" I paused, looking away.

"But what?" he asked, with a hint of sadness in his tone.

"But, it's not the kind of special like it used to before," I said.

"I'm too late, aren't I?" he asked.

A tear escaped my eyes. I looked at him again and pierced my eyes to his blue eyes and said, "Something like that."