𝙩𝙚𝙣 𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙪𝙩𝙚𝙨 | 𝙟𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙜𝙞𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙨𝙠𝙮 | 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙩𝙚𝙙

Ch. 10 ♡

Jamie's Point of View

"Jamie– Hey, Jamie."

My mom's voice filled my ears, but my eyes refused to open. I couldn't sleep last night, or in the past three days, actually. The most I've done that came to close to sleep was shutting my eyes and tuning out the world for 15 minutes– before my senses reopened and my heart started to hurt again.

"It's time to go, we don't want to be late. We're gonna wait downstairs." She closed the door behind her and I continued to stare at it, unable to move or think of anything else.

The night of our six month celebration soon turned into a crying fest. Jack and his mother died in a car crash because two fucking idiots decided to race– one of them was drunk. His mother died on impact, their car flipped and turned as they landed on the bottom of highway, she flew out of the window. Jack was still alive in the car, but his wounds were too severe and died from blood loss in the hospital. They didn't have time to find a donor.

His dad and sisters came for the funeral planning, but I had to get along with them and help send pictures for the slideshow they were making. It pained me seeing them– Jack and I talked about visiting them together because he wanted to make amends, but would only do it if I was there. I told his dad about that and he thanked me– "at least Jack had the chance to fall in love, I'm sure."

Those words will haunt me forever. I never got to tell him why I love him– never got to give him my letter, to see his face one last time alive, to say goodbye. The last words I said were "see you later" and I couldn't remember his.

We went to his open casket and fuck, it was awful seeing him like that. Not only did he look lifeless– his face was covered in cuts and bruises it was almost recognizable, the doctors – or whoever worked with dead bodies– tried their best to make him look "better," but they made it worse. I don't want to explain how his mom looked, I didn't get to see her or meet her, however her daughters bursted in tears at the sight of her body.

Yasmin was confused over everything until I explained to her that Jack got hurt and died. Then, I explained to her what dying meant and where he would go after.

I said "somewhere where we would go when it's all over," and she told me, "I hope he's happy in that somewhere."

At least she understood what loss was because she continued to sleep in my bed for the next few days, not because she wanted to but because I needed someone to hand me tissues every hour or so.

My parents did what they could– they were just there to comfort me and check up on me. They allowed me to miss this week of school and more if necessary. Blair left for Australia before this, she still messaged me and called me for support. Monique and Dani were just as heartbroken– his friends were devastated, especially Jack Johnson who had been friends with him since kindergarten.

I couldn't sleep, couldn't eat. There was no motivation to. My first everything– kiss, crush, boyfriend– was gone. He couldn't come back to me, there was no way. It was nothing like a breakup– he's dead.

Tears started to form, yet I shook my head and got up. It was tiring to be crying everyday, I had to pull myself together for the funeral. It didn't feel like I was in body because of the lack of sleep, it was like I was watching myself in another body. I went downstairs and slipped on some flats– my parents waited for me and we walked to the car, Yasmin kept her distance from me today, my mom probably told her to.

When we took our seats in the little chapel for them, there was an dreadful spiritual feeling in the atmosphere. I looked around and everyone looked as apathetic as the dead bodies– from little kids, to teachers and grandparents, everyone had that same sorrowful, regretful expression.