HEATED // EGD

F I V E

 O N E - S T A R

A few days had passed and I stood out on the tiny balcony just as I did the time when Ethan and I ran into each other on the same balcony late at night. Dallas still was talking to me a little bit, but it was barley anything. He would just say three words when he got home before going back to ignoring me.

He would say, "I'm home, guys" but after that it was as if he wasn't there at all. He was quiet and distant. It broke my heart a little more each second that he wouldn't talk to me.

It was a boring time. I was basically by myself in the apartment with nothing to do. Sure, I had Ethan, but he had his days. Some days he wouldn't leave his room at all others he would come out of it for a little while to hangout with me, but even that didn't last very long before he'd return to his room.

I wished I had someone. I felt like I completely alone. I was convinced that I lost Dallas for good. that was stupid because if that were the case, he would've sent me back to Florida, but it was hard for me to think otherwise when he would completely ignore me for days. As for Ethan, he was there and at times seemed to be able to relate to me to some level but, again, he was always in his room, isolating himself from the world. When he was out of his room he had his ups and downs, some days he was okay others he was moody.

I did the same thing as him. I felt sorry for him, not in the oh, that's terrible I never been through that and have no idea what it's like or realize that you're not just being a teen or young adult, but damn I feel so bad kind of way but instead a, I'm going through the same thing and I know as much as anybody could that nobody deserves to go through something like that.

So, all day for those few days of feeling alone I did nothing but watch movies to distract myself from my dark mind although it wasn't always effective. I wanted to try to improve my mental state, I was planning on doing so, actually, but I failed at doing so. I hate to admit it, but that's just how it was. And due to that, I lost the little bit of motivation I had.

This time, when I stood out onto the balcony there was a single star in the sky instead of nothing. It was rather bright and contrasted against the black sky that surrounded it just as the city lights did. It was beautiful. When I noticed the start, I couldn't peel my eyes away anymore.

In a city filled with light pollution to the point in which no stars ever really shone at night, one single start managed to shine that night. The star wasn't even shining faintly in the distance. It was glowing. It outshone the light pollution that tried to take the bright star down, but in the star one.

In a way I was envious of that star. I was envious that it could manage to shine oh so brightly against the light pollution in which was trying to over shadow it. Yet, I couldn't manage to crack a genuine smile when my light pollution, Wes' death, over shadowed me. I wanted to outshine the darkness like that star.

"You okay, Nai?" Ethan asked.

I turned around to see him leant against the sliding glass door that led to the little balcony. His arms were crossed as his gaze stayed on me.

"Yeah," I lied as I turned back to look at the star.

"Bullshit," he muttered as he stepped onto the balcony and closed the door behind him. He leaned his elbows against the railings as he watched me look at the single star.

"This is the city that never sleeps so it's no brainer that lights are constantly shining off of the building in this city. It's beautiful, but it creates a lot of light pollution. If this isn't the city with the most light pollution in the world, it's definitely up there on the list. The amount of light pollution in this city makes it rare to see a star even faintly in the sky." I spoke to him. Glancing over at him, I noticed that he was listening intently before putting my focus back on the star. "That star in the sky is shining outstandingly bright. The odds that a star could be so clear in the sky when there's this much light pollution is incredibly slim. The fact that the star right there is capable of shining so brightly in New York City is remarkable."