𝐃𝐎𝐍'𝐓 𝐍𝐄𝐄𝐃 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄, ⁿᶜᵗ ᵈʳᵉᵃᵐ ᶠᵗ ʰʳᵛʸ

𝒍𝒆𝒕'𝒔 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒖𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒔

ㅡ y/n

I gulped, taking a deep breath as I place my hand on the doorknob. I felt a hand on my shoulder.

I look behind me and saw Jisung with Jaemin and the other boys behind him. Jisung nodded and I bite my lip, closing my eyes.

I opened the door and entered the room, almost tripping. I open my eyes and saw Jeno, sitting on the couch, reading a book.

"Hey.." I managed to let out and jumped when I heard the door shut behind me.

"Hey, are you feeling okay now?" He put his book down and walk towards me. He places his hand on my forehead.

"I'm better now, thanks to Renjun.. how about you? Are you feeling okay?" I asked, softly.

"No.. I'm not." He said and a frown made it to his face.

"Jeno.. I'm so sorry.. I'm so so so sorry..." I said, feeling the tears form in my eyes.

"W-why are you sorry?" He starts to look panicked.

"I-I will end up hurting you again because of me. I don't want that..." I try to stop the tears but they're already falling.

"I don't want to hurt you that's why I don't want any of you to have feelings for me but that just have to happen, huh?" I said as he walk closer to me.

"Don't blame yourself if I get hurt. I'll be completely okay if you reject me." He said, placing his hands on my cheeks, wiping my tears with his thumb.

"But love does hurt, Jeno.. I'll still end up hurting you because-" My eyes widened when he suddenly smashed his lips onto mine.

I was frozen on my spot but he made the kiss deeper, asking me to kiss back, even just once.

I felt another tear fall as I kiss back. I don't know how to feel.

Confused? Angry? Sad? Happy?

Mixed emotions were going on like a roller coaster in my head and it's annoying.

I close my eyes, letting myself melt into the kiss. Jeno's hand intertwined with mine. He broke the kiss, resting his forehead on my collarbone.

"Even if you reject me.." I can feel his tears wet my blouse.

"At least we'll still be friends.. unlike in high school.." He said, his sobs becoming louder.

"This time, I won't be falling for another girl to remove my feelings for you..." The wetness of his tears on my blouse was starting to stick to my skin.

"This time, we can be closer... not as lovers but as friends..." He said, wrapping his arms around me.

"And starting today, I start to think that friends are better than lovers.." He said and kissed my tears away.

"I love you, y/n. I love you so much and even if you reject me.. even if we can't be lovers.." He rests his forehead on mine.

His grip on my hand became tighter as tears continue to fall from his eyes, dripping to my skirt.

"I do wish we continue to become friends..." He said, his sobs echoing in the clubroom.

"Jeno... if you say that.. you'll make me feel worst," I said but he only smiled weakly.

"I'm at my limit, Kim y/n. I can't hide anything from you anymore." He said, staring into my eyes.

"Jeno.. I am so sorry.." I hug him tightly. He pecked my lips again.

"It's okay, baby. You'll always be my first love, not my last but my first. The first that I will value the most." He said, wiping my remaining tears away.

I placed my hand on his cheek, wiping his tears too. He grabs my hand and presses a long kiss on it.

"Let's make the best out of DNYL until graduation. Let's make the best out of our friendship until graduation."

ㅡ renjun

I gulped as I hear Jeno say those words to y/n.

Will I really have the courage to confess to her?

"Renjun, what will you do now? Wait until graduation?" Chenle asked, softly but I keep my head hung low.

"Guys, let Renjun decide. Are you okay, Injun?" Jaemin asked me and I nodded.

"I need time alone.." I said, making my way to the garden.

I sit down and start feeling my tears fall.

Why am I crying? I don't know.

Why am I sad? I don't know.

Is it because of y/n and Jeno? I don't know.

Is it because of my feelings? Yes.

I'm confused, I'm angry at myself. I hate myself for feeling this way, for having these feelings when I know I can't tell her this.

"I am a stupid a person after all..."

"I'll just keep these feelings a secret then... until graduation..."

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Last chapter then ending chapter next!!!