The Missing Boy

Chapter 15 - Maybe

This chapter is just a tad bit mature.

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Axel had sex with a girl last night. He thought that if he acted excited by it and if Miles was excited for him, that it would feel better. That it would feel right. But it doesn't. It didn't.

Axel had sex with a girl and he hated it.

He doesn't blame Sydney. She did nothing wrong. It just felt wrong. It was his first time and unfortunately it didn't live up to his expectations. Axel realises then that Miles was right, sex is not that big of a deal.

After watching Miles leave, Axel goes into his own house and this time he doesn't ignore his mother when she asks him how his day was. He tells her that it was fine, kisses her on the cheek then goes up to his room.

Axel takes some time to stare at himself in the mirror. He goes over the events of last night. He remembers the curves of Sydney's body and the way she felt against his own body. There is no doubt in his mind that Sydney is beautiful. But he still can't put his finger on what it was about last night that made him feel so...weird.

Maybe it was the hotel room. The hotel they went to was anything but classy, but the two didn't dwell on it much. They just needed a bed, would have even settled for a couch, but ended up on a springy mattress with mysteriously stained bed sheets. Perhaps they should have thought about it more.

It wasn't the hotel. Axel thinks.

Maybe it was too soon. Axel had just met the girl. They only spoke for about an hour before they used their mouths for other things. If they got to know each other more, it could have felt better. But Axel doubts that another hour of conversation would have changed the outcome.

Maybe Axel wasn't ready. He rushed right into the idea of having sex. He never had a talk from his parents about it. He knew he had to use a condom and that was about it. But that doesn't seem like the reason.

Axel locks his bedroom door, takes off his shirt, his jeans, even his boxers and stares at his naked self in the mirror.

Maybe it was me.

Axel stares at the reflection of his bare body in the mirror and takes note of any sort of problem that he sees. His shoulders aren't straight, one lifts slightly higher than the other. His ears are a tad bit too small. His piercing on his right ear is too high. He has never been able to grow an adequate amount of facial hair no matter how hard he tries. He liked the left side of his face more than the right. He has a tattoo of the number 13 in Roman numerals on his hip which he wishes was somewhere else. And hates his tattoo of the devil horns on his left shoulder and angel wings on his right. He never could pick a side.

Axel is in good shape. Great shape even. Sydney made an effort of telling him that last night. His mentor, Elias, at the mansion made sure that Axel maintained his health. As well as vampire training and civilisation lessons, Elias also took it upon himself to be his personal trainer.

Axel is happy with the way he looks and comes to the conclusion that it wasn't him. Axel lays on his bed, closes his eyes and thinks about Sydney's naked body again. He feels nothing. He realises then what was wrong about last night.

She's a girl.

Axel takes a deep breath and then, for the first time ever, he allows himself to think about a boy's body. Their curves and edges. Their strong, flat chests and sturdy thighs and their...well their dicks. Axel thinks about their dicks. Axel can feel his own getting harder. 

"Oh shit." Axel says, suddenly opening his eyes and staring down at his growing member.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. I like guys." Axel looks around the room as if someone may have heard this sudden revelation. But his windows and curtains are closed, his door locked.

Axel closes his eyes again. He thinks about a naked girl. Nothing. Naked boy? Everything. His breathing becomes laboured, his forehead sweaty, his dick throbbing.

"I'm gay. I'm fucking gay."

His hand snakes down his body until he's grabbing himself. The other pulls his sweaty black hair back. He strokes himself slowly.

Axel imagines a boy touching him, kissing him, loving him. He imagines himself doing the same things to said boy. Axel thinks back to last night with Sydney and replaces her body with a boy's one. And he does all the things he did with Sydney with the boy.

Now it feels right.

He wanted it to be a boy. And not just any boy. That's when he notices that the boy he's conjured up in his thoughts looks oddly like-

"Miles." He whispers.

The thought of Miles withering naked under him makes his insides stir and hand automatically move faster. Just the thought is enough to push him over the edge.

Miles.

Axel wants Miles.