A New World, Complicated

Chapter 37: Smoke Gets in Your Eyes (Reign)

             "Trader Johann's here! Everybody, Trader Johann's here!"

I shook my head as Trader Johann lowered the gang plank and Fishlegs scurried up it. Everyone always got so excited about him, but, although I'd never voice it out loud, I didn't exactly trust him. There was just something off about that guy.

"Pffft. Johann, schmohann," Snotlout scoffed. "That guys never lets me touch any of his cool stuff."

"Well, that's because last time he was here, you broke half of it," Hiccup fired back.

"It's my word against his." Trader Johann stepped out and rested his leg on the side of the boat, looking down on all of us.

"Ah, Berk! The crown jewel of the entire archipelago."

"Over here, Trader Johann!" He turned to see Fishlegs, Astrid, Hiccup and I had already boarded. "Ooh, what did you bring today?"

"Ah. Many wondrous things, Mister Fishlegs; treasures from every coast and every shore. Like the Pearls of Dyngja—perfect for that special lady in your life."

"You know, those could be yours, Astrid." I looked over to see Snotlout leaning closer to Astrid, as though that would somehow make her fall for him. "Just say the word."

"Yuck." She crossed her arms and marched away from him.

"That's not the word, Astrid." Gobber slowly walked through the piles of trinkets and treasures, eyeballing each of them carefully.

"Mm, nope," he muttered, passing by another set of items. "Nope."

"Ahh, Mister Gobber. What can I interest you in?"

"Why don't you wow me, Johann? Knock me off my feet." I raised an eyebrow. Gobber was being awfully demanding. I'd never seen him like this before.

"Put me to the test, are you? Okay." Johann chuckled uncomfortably.

"Hang on." Gobber hobbled over to a tarp covering some strangely-shaped object. "What's under here?"

"Oh, nothing too exciting. Just an old pile of—" Gobber pulled back the cloth to reveal a large pile of metal.

"Scrap metal! It's perfect! I've run out of things to pound around here." The rest of us made our way closer to the pile, eyeballing it warily. Tuffnut suddenly gasped and brought his hands to his chest.

"Whoa. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

"It's just scrap metal," I scoffed.

"No, I'm talking about this mace!" He rushed over and picked up the blunt object, staring at it in awe. "Hey, mace. You wanna come home with me, don't you?" His voice suddenly switched to a shrill tone. "Yes I do, Tuffnut. I wanna needlessly destroy other people's property with you." Tuffnut finally moved back into his normal voice. "Oh, Macey. You get me." Tuff somehow cradled the weapon against his cheek without hurting himself.

"I see you are a gentleman that recognizes quality when he sees it. This is the finest metal from the furthest reaches of the archipelago." Gobber picked up a broken sword and bit down on it harshly.

"I'll take it all," he declared.

"Excellent! Always a pleasure, Mister Gobber."

I nudged Hiccup as I watched Toothless warily crawl toward the pile, his nose twitching rapidly. He managed to get just close enough before growling and baring his teeth, backing up. Something crashed behind us, and we all whipped around to see Snotlout standing among piles of broken items.