I'm not so sure anymore.

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I had the best laid out plans,
I had the will, I had the motivation,
I was so sure of this path I was walking,
I was so sure I was headed to my paradise.

but the road ahead grows foggy,
the wide majestic path grows steep and rugged,
breaking up into many a confusing narrow paths,
doubt darkens my clarity,
indecision dims my hopes,
the ground beneath me is sinking,
sinking fast into the hollow abyss of self pity.

self destruction,
I am stabbing my brave beating heart,
I am slicing my veins open,
I am bleeding to death,
and I have never felt such pain,
slow soft pain.

as the entire world turns against me,
as so much is going wrong so fast,
there at the harrowing crossroads,
there at that pitiful moment,
I need nothing but,
complete assurance that I am,

not just another mindless, hapless doll,
stuck in time and space,
not just a mere speck of dust,
in this sea of humanity,
not just another insignificant statistic,
whose effort means and shall amount to,
nothing.

but I'm not so sure anymore.

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