Swimming Upstream

Chapter 2

Eric and I talked in the shower soaping up talking about where we were from and what we were studying but also the subject of girls came up and how all of the girls at U.S.C. were very into the swimmers. The football players, baseball and swimmers.

I still listened to him pretending to feign interest and it isn't that I had never tried anything with girls in my life when I was younger but every time I tried the girl just assumed I wasn't into her and they left it at that.

I dried off in front of my locker slipping my clothes back on while casually looking around. The only thing about being in team sports is it left you completely exposed where whatever shyness you had to get it over it pretty fast. I felt I was used to it by now after having swum for years with other guys and it wasn't really that big of a deal for me; although, I didn't know how everyone would react if everyone knew my secret. Would they all suddenly act differently towards me in the locker room?

I didn't have the nerve to announce to the world and was choosing to still stay in the closet. I had to accept myself first before anyone else could accept me. I felt lost in my thoughts until Eric snapped me out of it.

"Ryan?"

"Yeah," I said, turning to look at him.

"You alright?"

"Yeah, just have a lot on my mind with school."

"If you feel you are intimidated by the other swimmers don't be because we all were new once."

"Thanks Eric. I really appreciate it."

"No problems," he said. "If you want there is a party being thrown by a fraternity tonight. Me and a couple of the guys are going if you want to come along."

"Sure."

"Although one of the main rules is no booze. Period. Coach's rules. Give me your phone and I will add my number and I will text you the address later."

I passed over my phone to which he quickly added his cell phone number.

"There you go," he said, passing it back to me.

It looked like I was fitting right in getting invited to my first real college party. Eric had sent me the address which I found was within a few blocks from my dorm.

As I approached the outside I could see it resembled like the old mansions from the South. White columns. I walked up to the front door halted in my tracks by a guy who looked like he stepped out of the pages of an Abercrombie and Fitch catalog. Brown hair. Muscular upper frame. Big biceps. I could tell he was a football player.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Ryan, I was invited. I'm on the swim team. Eric said it was cool that I came."

"Oh, you're the scholarship kid."

"That be me."

"Eric is a good guy. If he vouched for you it's cool to come in."

"Thanks."

I walked in seeing whole crowds of people either drinking or dancing in one corner or in the other playing Beer Pong. I had been to high school parties before but this was a whole new level. I was used to be alone a lot which I know over the years caused me some social anxiety but not to the point where I was having an attack thankfully. I knew I needed to be uncomfortable to become comfortable in a new environment such as this.

Eric walked past me arm in arm with a pretty blonde with flowing hair down to her shoulders. Eric turned seeing me standing in the foyer.

"Ryan!" he exclaimed. "Glad you can make it."

He gave me a good pat on the back.

"Let me introduce you to Anna."

Eric turned to gesture to her bringing her over.

"Anna, you are looking at U.S.C.'s next big swimming wonder."

"I wouldn't say that." I said modestly.

"Sure you can!"

"You think you are as good as Michael Phelps or Ryan Lochte?"

"No one is as good as they are," I said laughing.

"Non alcoholics are over there," Eric said, pointing to his right. "Beer Pong spectators off on the opposite side. Cookout in the back. Burgers and hot dogs and cold pop."

I made my way to the back passing the onslaught of various people half drunk where I sat down with a burger and a hot dog and a can of Diet Coke. It was actually good to be away from all the loudness of the house to the point where you couldn't think.

The party gave me the opportunity to meet with some of the other players and Eric was right about them being a good bunch. We all talked about where we were from and what our majors were. I had decided ultimately on business believing that whatever I used it for it would get me ahead in the real world. Also, it was a major that would make my father proud.

Suddenly, after having watched a couple of the frat members play a rousing game of Beer Pong, I felt the urge to go to the bathroom. I quickly asked one of the frat brothers where he pointed upstairs. Once I got upstairs I looked down the hallway hearing what sounded like a low moan or a groan coming from one of the rooms.

I quietly stepped down seeing the door even though it was shut it was still open a crack just enough for me to see inside. I peered in seeing the Abercrombie and Fitch football player standing naked with his eyes shut in front of another guy sitting on the side of the bed slowly bobbing his head gently on his penis.

I looked back up seeing the expression on the player's face as one of relief and relaxation. From the way, the guy sitting on the bed acted he appeared to be savoring every time he went up and down deeply breathing through his nostrils licking up whatever precum that had come out.

I couldn't help but continue to stare as I was feeling myself starting to grow in my boxers. Abercrombie and Fitch still had his eyes closed so I got out of there for fear that he would see me watching. After getting into the bathroom I could see that I had a full hard on which definitely made it difficult to go but I managed quickly zipping up afterward.

I stepped back out into the hallway just as the two of them were walking past me and heading back downstairs to the party as nothing had ever happened. You never can tell about a person can you? I thought.

I walked back downstairs still moseying around feeling startled hearing Eric's voice right behind me.

"Having a good time so far?"

I turned around to him and said, "Yeah, enjoying myself."

"Good," he said. "Think we are all going to take off soon. We can tell when the party is winding down. Coach will kill us in the pool if we stay out too late and become late for morning practice."

I stepped back outside glad to be out in the fresh air away from all the smoke and body odors inside the frat house. I did walk by Abercrombie and Fitch who seemed to pay me no attention because he was too busy flirting with another co-ed. Boy, if she only knew!  Was it really fair for her to be strung along by, what's the word?, heteroflexible guy?

I had a few possible chances in high school once I knew I was 100% gay but was always afraid it would turn out bad or the other person would out me out of spite for some reason.

As I laid in bed that night I tried to erase the image of what I had seen in that room. I was here to focus on swimming.