Swimming Upstream

Chapter 16

The next day I fortunately found the outside door to the pool was unlocked as I had hoped as I was looking to warm up before practice where I could be by myself. I felt my zoning out in the pool would help get my mind off of Kevin's warning. The finals were soon and I had to be ready.

However, I felt I needed to repair my friendship with Eric as well. I took a breath and ducked my head under the water reaching the end of the pool coming back up for air.

"I was hoping I wouldn't see you here today," a voice said.

I looked up seeing Eric standing poolside with a smug look on his face.

"I come in sometimes before morning practice to warm up," I said.

I hoisted myself up out of the pool drying myself off with a towel.

"We really need to talk about Anna."

"What's there to talk about?" he smiled. "You've been cheating with her."

He turned to walk away where I stepped right in front of him.

"No, listen."

"No! You listen!" Eric exclaimed. "I befriended you when you didn't even know anyone here yet and this is what you do!"

"You don't understand!"

"Why don't you understand this?!"

Eric with both of his hands pushed me into the pool where he jumped in after me wrestling my hands and arms. I attempted as much as I could to push back against him where both of us dunked under the surface pushing and pulling. I finally pushed him away grabbing the side of pool coming back up feeling out of breath seeing Eric having done the same.

"I trusted you!" he said, coughing up water.

"Eric?!"

"What?!"

"I'M GAY!!!!" I shouted.

"You mean you don't like girls?"

"No!"

Eric hoisted himself sitting up with his legs dangling over the side where I did the same sitting up beside him.

"You mean all this time you've been in the closet?"

"Yes."

"How long has it been for you?"

"Since I was a young kid."

"Wow!" Eric said, looking surprised.

"Anna was the one who came on to me but I always turned her away," I said, shrugging my shoulders. "And besides didn't want to ruin my friendship with you."

"Boy did I get this all wrong. I think Anna and I are going to have to have a long talk. Why did you think you couldn't tell me?"

"I was afraid that if I did people wouldn't accept me except now I am faced with a problem."

"Which is?"

"Kevin saw me with someone and now he's threatening to tell everyone unless I quit the team."

"That bastard," he replied. "Who did he see you with?"

I kept silent out of fear that Eric could see all over my face. It would have been a much bigger explanation that I wasn't prepared for. Eric raised his hands up in a sign of backing up.

"You know what?...you don't have to tell me."

"Thank you."

From outside we could hear the commotion of the other swimmers coming in for morning swim sessions.

"Please don't tell anyone," I said.

"It's alright."

Once everyone else was changed into their suits we all lined up seeing Coach Butler come walking out.

"Okay, guys finals are quickly coming up which means you will have to work twice as hard," he announced, before turning his head to me. "Ryan you will be in the 4 x 200 medley relay free styling."

There was a small commotion where the people beside me gave me a congratulatory pat on the back. The coach blew his whistle knowing it meant for our groups of eight to get on the block and practice different swimming strokes.

After practice was done I walked by Dan's office seeing Rachel sitting by waiting for him to enter. I opened my locker looking on seeing Dan and Rachel standing together giving her a kiss. However, for a moment we locked eyes seeing the hurt develop on my face turning back quickly to face my open locker. From the corner of my eye I could see Dan lower his head and closing his office door with a loud shut.

In the evening I felt like I was suffering from cabin fever feeling a combination of depression and overwhelming anxiety so I wandered around until I found myself in front of the frat house all lit up inside. It seemed that a few nights a week there always a reason to throw another party of drinking and debauchery.

I walked in and head my way to the backyard patio seeing Christian and a bunch of others all drinking from a large keg.

"Ryan!" Christian exclaimed. "How's it going buddy?"

"Okay."

"Just okay? Looks like you need a drink."

"But I am still in season."

"Rules are meant to be broken," he said, handing me a cup. "Drink up."

I stared down at the foamy liquid and gave in drinking it down in one big gulp. I wanted to cure my anxiety and erase the picture of seeing Dan with his wife in the locker room today.

"Wow," another frat men said.

"Give me another," I said grinning, raising my glass to the sky.

As I hung out partaking in another game of beer pong failing miserably I honestly lost track of how many cups of beer I had. I sat on the couch feeling pretty inebriated but still felt I was lucid enough.

"Whoa, Ryan," Tyler said, walking by. "Looks like you had enough for tonight."

He approached me where I couldn't help but look at his groin area wanting to feel it again and stroke each other's penises or know what it would be like to suck my first cock.

"No, I'm fine," I said, holding up my hand. "Just a little buzzed."

"You sure look more than buzzed to me," he said. "You need to sober up. Let someone take you back to your dorm and help you."

Tyler grabbed one of my hands to help me up off the couch where I almost lost my balance. Tyler quickly grabbed my shoulders to stand me up straight.

"Whoa, take it easy."

"Don't worry about me. I can get back to the dorm myself."

"You sure?" he asked concerned.

"Yeah, no sweat," I said, patting my hand on his chest.

I managed to leave the frat house still feeling pissant drunk walking down the block pass the dorm quads back to the aquatic center. I grabbed the handle throwing open the door stumbling inside around the pool deck.

I began to walk on the edge like I was pretending I was on a high wire tightrope in the circus.

"Whoa, whoa," I said, flaying my arms about.

I kept walking until I hit a wet spot and slipped falling backwards into the pool. I could feel my body sinking looking up at the bright white florescent lights in the ceiling but soon everything started to grow dimmer and dimmer. One of my last thoughts was how serene it appeared to be underneath the water just listening to the ebbs and flows of the pool.

A N : I felt it was important to post a disclaimer that I do not condone what has been prevalent in some fraternities across the U.S. such as what happened to the student at Penn State. It is incredibly irresponsible where no one should be that intoxicated and students should look out for each other so that they don't get into trouble or worse. This is soully a work of fiction.