Swimming Upstream

Chapter 10

The fall semester was coming to a close and it was crunch time for studying but every so often still managed to fit in some pool time and some night time skinny dipping with Daniel amongst the things we did. He could tell I wasn't ready for the full nine yards yet that he completely respected and understood and that things happened when they are supposed to and not before.

Then came the anxiety of going home for the Thanksgiving break for a few days. We all sat around the dinner table where my parents had also invited Colleen and her parents over.

"Colleen tell us how well you are doing at U.S.C.," her Mom said.

"Thanks, I am really enjoying it."

"Just as long as you are still keeping up your studies between your swimming," my father said.

"What about your coach?" my Mom asked.

"My coach?" I asked, gulping my food down.

Suddenly, I was having a flash back to the last evening I had in the pool with Daniel. From the way we slowly pulled off each others Speedos and the way he slowly stroked my penis under the water and frotting close as we floated together.

"Don't worry about shooting in the pool," he whispered. "The chlorine will kill it."

I felt absent minded for a moment until my brain shot back to the dinner table with my family hearing my Mom ask.

"Yes, does he do a good job?"

"Oh yeah, he does a great job."

I reached for my water glass taking a long chug.

After dinner I retired to my room looking at all of my swimming medals and trophies I had earned as a kid growing up and my high school career. I looked at an old picture still tapped to my bedroom mirror when I won my first ribbon asking myself if my younger self knew what would be in store for him when he grew up.

"You know I still remember when you won that?" Colleen said laughing, standing in the doorway. "You've definitely come a long way."

"Thanks," I said smiling.

"I actually like turkey and all of the other stuff now," she said, hopping up on my bed. "It's a nice change of pace from my Mom's traditional Irish stew."

I was suddenly apprehensive but this was Colleen, my best childhood friend whom I had grown up with. I don't think she saw me in a romantic way because once you strayed beyond the friendship zone you always ran the risk of losing not only your partner but a close friend as well provided the relationship didn't work out. There you go again, Ryan, over thinking.

"Ryan, Colleen! Come downstairs!" my mom exclaimed. "We have apple pie."

"Will be right down," Colleen said.

Saved by dessert, I thought.

Once I got back to school nestled again in my dorm room at 3 a.m. my phone went off waking me out of a dead sleep. I was still bleary eyed looking at the incoming text message seeing it was the Berkley swimmer.

"So have you come out yet?"

"No," I texted back.

"So what is your deal?" he said. "Are you Clark Kent or are you Superman?"

"What?"

"Haven't you seen any of the movies or read a comic book?"

"Of course, but what do you mean?"

"Superman was born Superman, he could fly and had super human strength and speed, but he became and disguised himself as mild mannered Clark Kent to the world to hide his true identity. So the question is you want to live your life as Superman or as Clark Kent?"

"Okay, I get it," I said. "I am living a secret identity. But what about kryptonite?"

"Unfortunately, that is the drawback to being a superhero," he said. "You are always going to have at least one weakness. In your case it's people's reactions."

"Definitely food for thought."

"Yep, let me know how it all works out in the end."

He had a point. An interesting metaphor about either being true to yourself or forever hiding in the closet. However, for all his super powers at the end of the day he still came home as Clark Kent.