Breaking the Rules (The Rules, #2)

8

Ella

Mikael drives me home.

Abbey had to leave early, so I said I'd either find a ride or crash at Brenna's house. When it came time to leave, I didn't feel like intruding on Brenna and Shea's privacy. They looked exhausted. Waking up at their place the next morning didn't feel right. An invitation for tonight's party was good enough. No need to extend it.

"Ryland knew damn well what he was doing," I say.

Somehow, our conversation became about my cheating, scumbag ex-boyfriend. The dam is broken. Despite being sober, I can't stop talking about Ryland. About my broken heart and the shards that keep pricking what's left. It feels like there's weight in my chest and on the back of my neck. I want to collapse to the ground and never feel again.

But I also miss the emotions that were tied to our relationship. The relationship I thought we had. Because while Ryland's emotions were fabricated, mine were real. Real as the ache in my chest.

"Whenever you cheat, someone finding out is inevitable," I continue. "It's an unwritten rule. When you play with fire, you'll burn yourself. If you drink poison, it'll kill you. And all those other cliché sayings. The fact is, he knew. He knew what the fuck he was doing. Ryland should've told me he had—has feelings for Janae. It's just not fair."

He flashes me a sympathetic smile as we turn down my street. The city lights of Vancouver are bright, but the onset of fog hangs low, shrouding the tops of the buildings. "That was shitty. I'm sorry, Ella. You deserve so much better."

All I do is nod. Aside from my relationship with Kaleb, all my relationships have been shitty. If someone isn't cheating on me, then they're trying to control me or telling me I need to change. After such a bad run, I thought Ryland was a good catch. Maybe I was oblivious to the signs because I was so taken aback by his kindness. Or maybe I attract the bad guys because of my poor relationship with my father.

I press my forehead against the cool glass of the window and expel a sigh. While I can take part of the blame, it doesn't weigh solely on my shoulders. That's what society wants me to think; that my kindness is a weakness. That I'm stupid to give men second chances. No matter what, society would judge me. Not directly, but the norms that have been created would infiltrate my mind. Protecting my heart makes me a prude. Keeping it out in the open makes me stupid. There's no balance.

Besides, most of these men have manipulated me or used their kindness to conceal their true personalities. I've been a victim of their behaviour. It's just not fair.

Mikael guides the vehicle into a parking spot, using his back-up camera to make sure he's within the lines. His car is sleek and nothing but expensive; leather, ambient lighting, a killer sound system—everything. It even smells expensive.

After shifting into Park, Mikael turns in his seat. He stares ahead at the road, his dark gaze scouring the area for signs of activity.

"Can I walk you up?" he asks.