UNEDITED
Kaleb Jones is living the dream. He's playing hockey with Shea Smith again, dating the woman of his dreams, and has a promising future ahead.
Ella Taylor's life feels perfect until she discovers her boyfriend has been cheating on her with...
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Kaleb
While I play a decent few games of hockey on the road, my mental stability continues to deteriorate. Probably because I'm making phone calls left, right, and centre. Mel and I have been talking every night. I'm aware of her tests and the diagnosis, as well as the consistent seizures that medications can't control. But it breaks my heart when she tells me she won't be returning to our house. Ella brings as much stuff to Mel's private hospital room to make her comfortable. And while Mel can put on a good brave face, I can see right through her.
She's scared.
Her bottom lip trembles when she asks me to call her parents and Maddison. Her friends in Montréal. Jayden and Hunter. Mel doesn't know them as well as I do, but I'm gonna need them here when it happens. And she knows that. She knows me so damn well she's invited my best friends, labelling them as people she wants here when she dies.
It's well into the evening before I finish the calls. Although there's a significant time difference between Minnesota and home, I force myself to stay awake and finish the calls. Breaking them up will only lead to more pain. I also make the calls in public so I can keep my voice steady. Right now, I'm at a café and I'm on my third cup of coffee. I've just gotten off of the phone with Maddison, Mel's sister. It was the hardest conversation of them all. I don't know Maddison very well. Nor do I have a sibling. But I've seen what sibling bonds are like from Shea and Chelsea. I can't imagine what it would be like to lose one.
Speaking of Shea... he was supposed to be here ten minutes ago, but the roads were pretty shitty today. Once the ten minute mark turns to twenty, though, I begin to worry. However, just as I'm about to call him, he steps through the door. We make eye contact, and he waves at me before heading up to the counter to order a drink.
It takes him a few minutes to order his drink and food, which I'm thankful for. After our exchange at the hospital, I haven't stopped confiding in him. It feels good to let everything loose. As per usual, Shea Smith is right: secrets are poisonous. All they do is fester and feed off of your mental and emotional health. But that doesn't mean talking is easy. We've had a few arguments over my inability to answer questions properly and instead skirt around them. Which means I piss myself off. I hate miscommunication or the overall lack of communication. And I piss myself off sometimes because I make myself look like a hypocrite.
So, when he sits down, already biting at his croissant, I say, "I have feelings for Ella."
Ever since our almost-kiss, I've been trying to convince myself otherwise. Every day, I remind myself I'm married to Mel. That I love her more than anything in this world. And that's the truth. Mel is the air I breathe. The beat in my heart. But part of me is still attached to Ella. It refuses to let go and forget what we used to be. My subconscious brings up the what-ifs and the maybes I wouldn't usually consider. Everything is a question with her.
Shea doesn't react. All he does is set the croissant down and chew thoughtfully. After he swallows, he clears his throat and says, "I know."
