Zaddy's Baby Girl (BWWM) (Interracial)

2.5: Conversations At A Dinner

'I wish that you would love (love) me (me)
Just like yesterday, don't let go of this hand ever again
And every time my heart (heart) beats (beats)
Match your steps so you don't wander around ever again'
-Jimin & V [BTS] (Heartbeat)

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Zayn

It has been nearly a month since we have been separated. I wear her ring around my neck on a chain just to keep her close still. My baby girl barely spares me a glance every time that I am in her presence.

I cannot believe that we have allowed our relationship to fall to ruins like this. I try to talk to her and she dismisses me. I miss her so much that it hurts. If she never speaks to me again, I just want for her to know what really happened that day. 

So here I am pouring my fifth packet of salt onto the melting ice of the drink I had consumed a while ago. I am anxious, nervous, sad, tired. I am just a jumbled mess at this point.

'Will she even show?', I thought checking my watch for the twelfth time since I have arrived.

This would not be the first time she has stood me up. She has agreed to meet up with me a handful of times already, only to further dash my hopes even further every time.

Yet, I still try. I still try to clear the air because I love her. I love her too much to ever just walk away without putting up a fight. She still has yet to say that she does not want me. So I still hold on to that hope that we can still do this. That our love has not run out. That we are still the same two people that fell in love in college.

I heard the little bell above the door chime alerting everyone that someone has just entered the diner. I did not look up though, too focused on watching the ice melt inside of the glass. I was using this as a coping mechanism for my anxiety. Also, I did not want to feel another piece of my heart crumble at the sight of yet another passing stranger.

I let out a sigh checking my watch.

9:53 PM

I felt my hands begin to shake, salt spilling onto the table. She should of been here by now. We were supposed to meet over two hours ago. I felt this burning sensation against my chest. Reaching a shaky hand up towards my neck clasping the cool metal of the necklace I wore, yanking it from around my neck.

I dangled the ring in front of me above the table. I began to resent the piece of jewelry. What was once a pillar of hope was now turning into a cauldron of resentment.

"Why do you keep hurting me?", I whispered bitterly staring at her forsaken ring.

I smelt her perfume. I refused to acknowledge her presence though, if it was truly her to begin with.

"You kept it."

It had not been a question nor a statement really. Allowing the chain to slip from my grasp the chain and ring fell clattering onto the table between us.

Slowly I raised my head meeting eyes with the women who held my heart in a viselike grip.

"Why come now?", I muttered dejectedly.