The World According to Jessie

Chapter Three

"...My liver has always been good to me; unfortunately I have never been good to it!"

It amazed me how the sound of a seagull was a more effective alarm clock than an actual alarm clock. But the minute it was light, the little buggers decided that the whole of the seaside town had to be up. It wasn't the first time that I had sprung out of bed, threw open my window and screamed abuse at them and it certainly wasn't the first time I had to apologise to the owners of the hotel opposite for upsetting the guests who were having a quiet cigarette on the porch. But it was the first time that I felt I wasn't alone in my bedroom. As I shut the window and turned around, I jumped out of my skin to find that Lillian was sprawled out at the bottom of my beloved sleeping quarters. She was still fully dressed although her makeup and hair had a lot to be desired. Surely, it shouldn't be like this for an Aunt and Niece. Weren't Aunties supposed to be wise old women who offered a friendly shoulder to cry on when your parents weren't around? Yes, I am sure that I heard somewhere that they were supposed to love like a mum, hug like a grandparent, keeps secrets like a sister and kick arse when needed. Obviously Lillian hadn't read any of these rules when she applied for the job! To be honest, considering she was a baby when I was a baby, that whole thing was probably bypassed.

'Lillian.' I said, bending down and nudging her gently. Another thing, I was never to refer to Lillian as "Auntie". This was punishable by removal of fingernails apparently. I called her name again and she grumbled and turned over, laddering the remainder of her tights as she did so. I rolled my eyes, and straightened myself up, feeling my knees creak with the early morning feeling. I looked down and noticed that the small hole in the knee of my favourite Care Bear PJ's had now turned into a full-scale rip.

'Bloody fantastic.' I sighed; knowing that these were the only pyjamas I packed for my overnight stay.

'Don't talk so loud, my head is killing me.' Lillian mumbled, now curled up at my feet. 'The builders moved into my head about an hour ago and they haven't left yet.'

'And I see that you have moved into my room and decided to take up residency.' I walked around the bed and into the en suite bathroom, leaving the door on the jar to keep an eye on my Aunt. I could hear her groaning and rolling around, obviously feeling very sorry for herself. I rolled my eyes, as I rid myself of my clothes and stepped into the shower that hadn't been replaced since 1988. I let the warmish water run over my skin, waking my body up a little more. The seagulls were still making their voices heard, as was my new roommate. I heard Lillian slide down the wall outside the bathroom and smiled. Here it came...

'Where is he then?' she asked. The same question left her lips every weekend and with the same sarcastic tone. I knew exactly whom she was referring to.

'He's working.' I answered, starting to think that I should put my answer on a tape recorder and play it to people whenever they asked the question.

'Likely story.' Lillian answered. 'Which band has he decided to "work" with this week?'

'Just because I'm in here doesn't mean I can't hear the air quotes you know.' I answered, turning the shower off and stepping out. Grabbing a towel and wrapping it around myself, I opened the door a little more and saw a bedraggled Lillian out of the corner of my eye. I stifled a childish giggle before I moved over to the sink to brush my teeth.

'They weren't air quotes.' She defended with a snap in her voice. 'It's just a bit strange that we don't see him very much that's all. He always seems to avoid coming up here and you tell us that he's working. Please note no air quotes in that sentence.'

'Look, it's the truth.' I said, stepping over Lillian to get to my bag. 'He works through the week and then he gigs on the weekend. It's what he does. I'm used to it.'