When you call my name, do you think I'll come running?
WATCH - BILLIE EILISH
Bunny🐰✨
» Are you avoiding me?
Yes I am
Of course not«
Why would you think I am?«
»It just feels like it
»You won't meet me and you won't let me come over
»Its like you don't want to see me
I've just been busy«
Really, that's all«
Lies.
I didn't want to see her because I knew she'd want an answer from me. An answer that I didn't have yet
»Hmm
»Can we meet soon though?
»When you're not so busy
I read the text and I know in an instant that she knows I'm lying about being busy.
Of course«
I'd love to meet soon«
I miss you«
»I miss you even more💖
»Let's meet on Saturday?
»At the park we were at the other time
Okay«
See you Saturday «
I love you«
»I love you too baby
»A lot
Me too«
»I'll call you later okay?
»I have to go do something
Alright«
She doesn't reply and I drop my phone on the table, leaning my head against the headrest of my chair and shutting my eyes.
**********
So I think I better go
I never really know how to please you
8 - BILLIE EILISH
October 1
"So?" She asks after a while
We had been sitting for almost 15 minutes with none of us saying anything to each other
"Huh?" I ask, feigning ignorance of what I knew she was asking about
"Did you make a decision? Are you going to come with me?" She asks
"I don't know" I say
"Why is it so difficult? I didn't think it'd be so difficult for you to give me an answer. I thought you wanted this?" She asks
"I do, I just...I can't make up my mind on what to do" I say honestly and she let's out a sigh looking down at her fingers and back up at me
"You wanted time to think and I gave you time" she says and I say nothing
"You have to make a choice, now"
"Bunny..."
"If you don't, I won't know what to do next so I need you to give me an answer" she says and I sigh inwardly, my eyes not meeting hers
"If you don't come with me, I don't know if we can still be together" she says and I look at her
"What?" I ask taken aback
"Its two years Hailey, I just don't know if I can make you wait around for me like that" she says
"Are you worried about me or are you worried about yourself? How can you just say that?" I ask
"I don't know what else to do Hailey. You're either taking my hand or letting go of it" she says "so tell me, what choice have you made?"
"Bunny, please don't do this" I say not answering her question
"Is it a no then? you're not giving me an answer" she says
"Bunny..."
"Will you take my hand or not?"
"Its not that easy" I say with a sigh, feeling tears form at the back of my eyes
"Yes it is. You either want this or you don't"
"Its complicated"
"You're making it complicated, more than it should be"
"Why are you saying this? You know I can't just leave everything" I say and she says nothing for a few seconds looking away before meeting my eyes
"I'll ask one last time, will you take my hand or not?" She asks putting out her hand and I look down at it
"Bunny..."
I don't know what to say or what to do and I just let the tears in my eyes fall down my cheeks.
"We can work through this" I say
"How? By you constantly crying? Neither of us know how this can be better so how can we work through it?" She asks her eyes watering
"I don't know" I say. I was full on crying now, not caring about the fact that there were a few people in the park with us
"I don't want you like this" she says "I don't want you crying all the time in my absence. I don't want you wishing for what could be if I was around" she says, tears falling down her eyes and somehow it just increases the flow of my own tears
"That's why its better to take a break" she says and I bury my face in my palms, my heart clenching painfully at her words
The words I had been dreading for so long
"I guess you made your choice already? " she asks and I look at her
"You're not going to come with me right?" She asks wiping her face, only for more to come flowing down like a stream
"I guess...we end it here then" she says "I'm sorry" she says quietly
"Bunny please..." Is all I can think to say. I felt like I was going to pass out at any point in time. I felt weak in the knees, I felt so dizzy, I felt everything just crumbling around me.
"I love you" she says and I feel her arms wrap around me, burying my face in her shirt and I just cry, clutching my chest as it physically hurt
"I love you so m..." she says, cutting herself off as sobs leave her lips and she buries her head in the crook of my neck and we just sit there on the bench crying our hearts out without a care about our surroundings
There was nothing there in my eyes anyways. It was just us both sitting in the dark in my head.
This was really the end
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