John Dorian's Final Realization

Chapter 8: My Broken Body

Dorian had always hated the smell of antiseptic.

It was a strange quality for a doctor to possess, he knew. Yet it still held true. And, as he was engulfed in the sharp scent now it was beginning to make his stomach churn uncomfortably.

He clenched his teeth and fought back the bile building in his throat.

"---- --. --. -ere." He felt something curved press painfully into his chest. He nodded his thanks, wrapped his hands around the container as his stomach lurched. Instead of getting the sense of relief from ridding his body of whatever was attacking it, he merely dry heaved endlessly. Each twist of his stomach tore at his wounds and left him groaning between gags.

There was a clicking noise and he felt his skin crawl as something cold entered his veins. 'Morphine.' His thoughts muddled together and the pain began to ebb.

"Newbie. Open your eyes."

"...Wh..at?" No wonder everything was so dark. He lifted his bobbing head and forced his eyes to open to the blindingly bright world around him.

"Good. Do you remember your name? My name?"

"..J-John Dorian." He sighed as his head lulled to the side,a sudden tiredness setting in. "You're Perry Cox.. And this is- I am in Sacred Heart, I think."

"Alright. Do you remember what happened? How you landed yourself in that bed there?"

J.D. suddenly jolted upwards as Cox slammed the chart in his arms against the bed's metal handrails.

"Focus, Judy. I need an answ-" He smacked the bed again, Dorian's bewildered eyes quickly flying back to his. "What is so goddamned interesting?!" His "mentor" began to turn when J.D. called his attention back to him with improvised words.

"N-nothing! Sorry, I'm just tired!"

Cox crossed his arms and shot him a discerning gaze, seemingly deciding that he didn't care. "So?"

"I-.. Uh.." He scratched the back of his neck as he glanced nervously back at the heavy man lingering near the Nurse's Station just a few hundred feet from his doorway. His conscience. But there was something different about it now, it seemed less surreal as it no longer bore its rabbit-mascot head and chose instead to wear a relatively normal outfit. Everything about these usually meaningless changes made him want to slam his hospital room door and lock it shut. "It's kind of hazy, but I think I remember going for a walk. It was dark out and I was crossing the street.." 'I tried to kill myself. Is that what you want to hear?' His mind wondered as Perry's carefully composed features tightened. "There were these lights or something, then I can't remember." He shrugged, feigning nonchalance.

"You were on a walk.. At 2 in the morning, on what happened to be the busiest road in your neighborhood..?"

"Yep." He eased himself back against his pillow and toyed with his I.V. "So when can I be released? It doesn't look too s- OW!" The chart landed on his hand this time, the skin along his knuckles and the back of his hand flushed an angry pink. He shook out his injured appendage to relieve the pain what little he could.

"Stop messing with that. Only when you become a "big girl" can you even glance at it so until then leave your treatment up to the real professionals." Cox ordered the younger man. "And, even though you are stable and ready to be released I still want you to-"