John Dorian's Final Realization

Chapter 12: My Shaky First Steps

When he opened his eyes.. It was a blindingly bright and painful reality. One where he wasn't allowed to leave and the man waiting patiently at the foot of his bed expected answers. One where he was being hunted.

But as they closed, he was thrown into another. There was the smell of rain, the rush of wind through his hair and the sound of tires squealing on slick asphalt. Here he was entirely alone on a dark road with only one exception rushing towards him. A set of headlights that grew larger and larger. It hurt some here but he knew soon that would all change. Freedom awaited him and it would only take a few seconds more to meet it.

Adrenalin rushed through him as he could now see the panicked face of the van's driver. The corner of his mouth twitched upwards and he closed his eyes. One minute he was standing there awaiting his fate and the next he was in the air. Flying..? Falling? He couldn't be sure.

"Newbie." He ignored the voice. "Newbie, open up. We have to talk." Knowing full well that if he didn't by choice he would be made to, John Dorian complied. Annoyance building as he was forced to return to his hospital bed rather than his road.

There it was again. Pity. The attending's shadowed eyes were full of it. As were everyone else's that stopped by to see him. The only one who had yet to even show his face was Turk. Where was he? Did he hate him?

"I'm not leaving until you cut the crap and tell me what's going on. I already made it clear to Bob-o that I'm not seeing any of my patient's until I find out; so unless you want a few patients' blood on your hands, I suggest you spill it."

He scratched nervously at the scabs on his arm. "...Okay."

Cox smiled with relief, he had expected more of a fight. The younger man had yet to even make eye contact with him since he had found him the night before and the apprehension coming off of him was almost palatable. "Here, how about this. I will ask you some questions and you answer them honestly for me. I'll keep it easy at first but.." He had to tread carefully he knew, one misspoken word or phrase could make him lock down all over again and he wasn't sure he could break him back out of his shell if he did.

Dorian allowed him a hesitant nod.

Cox opened the chart in his hands and skimmed through its contents. "Alright, so it says here you now weigh only 139 pounds.. You've always been on the scrawnier side but this is extreme. Can you tell me why you've lost so much weight?" 139? He hadn't realized he had lost that much. He knew that he had lost some weight since he had neglected to eat more often than not. But a jump this large...

The skin of his face and limbs slammed against the asphalted ground and were torn away as his limp body half-slid, half-tumbled over it. A thick haze covered a good part of his vision just as his lungs decided breathing wasn't for them. The sound of his bones breaking and a stranger yelling into a phone molded into one as a more intense pain than he had ever felt before consumed him. When he returned to the present he couldnt help but feel longing to return to his daydreams. They were easier than this could ever be.

"I.. I forget to eat sometimes. I guess it finally just caught up with me now, huh?" He let out a tired laugh. "I get so caught up with everything else that it kinda gets thrown on the back burner."

"..Okay." He wasn't entirely sure he believed him but he moved on nevertheless. "Have you eaten anything today? No-? How about yesterday?" He pinched the bridge of his nose and stood up. "I'll be right back. I'm sending in Barbie to keep an eye on you until then. She's just about having an anuerysm out there."