My Man Crush | Jinkook ✔️

Eighteen

Taehyung's Pov:

I had gotten Jin to get dress, and we were driving back to his house. He has not said a word or looked at me since we got into the car. Completely an emotional mess. I had tried calling Jungkook to get some insight on what was going on, and why he did what he did, but the phone only went to voicemail, I'd assume he is probably on his flight to the US. I am certainly going to hand it to him when I talk to him. This is wrong on so many levels. I knew Jungkook had a thing for Jin; every one of his friends knew it, but we told him to stay away. He had Jimin, they had been together since high school, but all due to their parents being best friends and felt as though their kids should "marry" one another. Bullshit if you ask me, I think you should have a say in who you marry, especially in this day and age. Although Jungkook and Jimin weren't forced to be together, it was expected so I guess they got together for the sake of the family. He and Jimin weren't even a good match for each other.

Maybe in high school, they worked, but they've outgrown each other. Jimin's personality is way different from Jungkook's character. At this point though, I don't care, they seem fit for each other, all I know is they belong together. Jimin had slept with someone else last summer. When I asked Jungkook if he was entertaining Jin to get back at Jimin, he told me, no and that's why he has no plans on sleeping with Jin. Such a damn liar. Look what he did to the poor kid.

I mean I had joked around from time to time with him saying I would love to have a go at Jin, but I never acted on it or did anything about it. That was just guys talking.  I am older than him. He is in high school! Not trying to go down that road. Is he handsome, hell yes, but not worth the trouble. Jungkook, on the other hand, clearly didn't care and that's fine if you want to date Jin, by all means, go ahead, but you don't turn around and do shits like this.

And, if you are going to do things like this, don't involve me! I am not an emotional person, and I don't know how to deal with things like this. Jin crying in my car right now, I don't even know what to say to him. Like do I say, 'sorry you lost your virginity to a prick, is there anything I can do?' Like what the heck am, I suppose to say, especially when that prick is my best friend. He probably thinks I was apart of whatever Jungkook had done. I mean I did try to warn him that day, I just trusted Jungkook when he said he wouldn't sleep with the kid. Although I can see why Jungkook might not have been able to resist the urge, still come on. You don't do that when you know your ass is leaving and have no intentions of being with the guy.

I don't think Jin will ever forget this. Shit, I ain't forget my first love who broke my heart, and that was in high school. We had only dated for a month, but still, it was love. Love is love isn't it. I don't know; they'll have to figure this out.
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"Jin, we are here." I tapped him on his shoulder as I pulled up to his driveway, which causes him to jump. "Don't touch me!" Okay then.

"Sorry. Just want you to know you are home." He glared at me his eyes bloodshot red then got out of the car and slammed the door. Well shit, break my car.

I watch as he storms off to his house, limping. Fuck, Jungkook seriously?! This whole thing is just horrifying to deal with or even be a part of. I get ready to pull out of the driveway, but soon realize that his bag is in the backseat. Sighing to myself I got out of the car and grabbed it; bringing it to his doorsteps. I rang the bell continuously, but no answer. So with no choice, I left it on the doorstep and sent him a text and got out of there. Maybe within the next two days, I could stop by and check on him. I had to pick up Jungkook's mail anyway until he got his PO Box situated.
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Two weeks later...
Jin's Pov:

Have you ever been curious to know what death feels like? Well, I am. I have watched movies, tv shows, documentaries, even listen to songs that spoke about heartbreak, but nothing in this world could prepare me for what I have been feeling these past two weeks. I feel so used. I feel dirty. What did I do to deserve this? Maybe I was too much of a whore, a slut even. Aren't those the same thing? I don't even know. Don't care, honestly. Life is not worth it.

Jungkook never responded to any of my calls, text and it seems he blocked me on every social media account. I want to know why? Why me, why did he do it? Was I too easy? Was I not good enough? Did he not like our first time together? What did I do wrong? Hoseok and Yoongi seem to think Jungkook was just an asshole and this probably wasn't the first time he had done this. I can't seem to wrap my head around the idea that Jungkook would only date me so he could take my virginity. Like that just so fucked up, he wouldn't hurt me like that.

All this time, I was keeping myself for him; I was doing myself nothing but injustice. I keep looking through my window at his house, hoping he'd return and tell me it was a joke or that he's sorry. As bad as it sounds if he returns right now I'd take him back because maybe he didn't mean what he did. Perhaps I'm just too young and inexperienced, so I made it hard for him our first time. I don't get it, he can't and wouldn't do something like this. I don't care what anyone says, Jungkook, my future husband, wouldn't harm me like this. He couldn't have. He wouldn't make me this sick. If this is real, I'd rather be dead. If he's not coming back, I don't want to live anymore. I want him to tell me why was I not enough, why am I not enough. What did I do wrong?

I can't talk to Hoseok and Yoongi; they don't understand. They keep telling me it's okay, but it's not okay. They can't feel how I feel. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I keep throwing up, I am losing weight, it's not okay! I don't think it will ever be okay! Death seems like the only thing that will make it alright.
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A/N: there will be time skips. Unless you'd like to meet Jungkook again in chapter 50 :)