My Man Crush | Jinkook ✔️

Fifty-Two

While Jungkook was kneeling in front of his son's grave, asking for forgiveness and making a vow to change his ways. Jin was in his son bed, weeping his eyes out. He had sent Areum with Hoseok for the day.

He hated days like today, it pained him a whole lot to know he would never have his son in his life again, never being able to hold him again. Why was life so cruel he wondered, what did he do so wrong that he had to lose his son so young? Was it because he sinned or was life angry at him, he didn't know the answer no matter how much he tried to come up with them.

All-day he had been in Kai's bed, unable to move. Sometimes he wonders why it wasn't him in place of Kai. At least he had gotten the chance to live, but his son never even had the opportunity to live or enjoy life. He was so young and fragile, taking away too soon.

"Kai, baby just a little longer and you would have met your father, do you know that?" Jin said in tears as he hugged onto his son favorite teddy bear, "only a little longer. Areum likes him, Kai." Jin cried into the teddy, curling up into a fetal position as his stomach hurried him.

A hole was forever placed in his heart upon losing his son. "I wish you could come back to us. I miss you so much. Appa loves you so much." Jin said, crying as he hugged tighter onto the teddy bear and stared at the picture of his son and his daughter. "I am sorry I can't come to visit you, Appa is sorry."

*******

Jungkook's Pov:

He never came. I stayed until midnight, but he never came. When I got home, I was soaking wet. I had taken a shower, and I was now laying in bed feeling heavy-hearted as I don't know what to do. Being around Kai's grave and talking with Taehyung made my day even more heartbreaking than I had expected it to be. I never had a chance to meet Kai, but every week that I visited his grave, it hurts me more knowing that I will never get the chance to hold him or tell him how much I love him.

I don't know what to do about Jin and me either, I want to go over to his house, but I don't want to cross the line, I don't know what to do. Maybe he doesn't want me back in his life, I mean honestly, I can't blame him if he chose that.

The pain I have caused into his life, I don't think I will ever know what it feels like. A part of me was hoping that he would have shown up today, but another part of me knew I was asking for too much. Taehyung tells me not to give up and believe me I won't, but I doubt Jin will ever give me another chance.

"Maybe I should call him." I say to myself as I turn on the bed, "but what if he doesn't answer." another part of me wonders.

"He never even responded to my letter, what if he didn't get it?" I questioned myself.

"But Areum promise me she gave it to him," I told myself.

"But maybe he didn't read it." I sat up on the bed, how didn't I think of that before, maybe Jin never got my letter.

I jumped out of my bed, grabbing my shirt and rushed towards the door as I try to slip on my shoes and shirt simultaneously. Pulling the door open ready to make a run for it, but I was stopped dead in my tracks as Jin appeared in front of me tears running down his face.

"I hate you!" He screams and pounds at my chest as soon as his eyes met with mines.

"I-" I was dumbfounded.

"Why would you ask me to meet you there?"

"Because-"

"I can't go there, Jungkook! I haven't been there since he was buried. I can't see our son like that Jungkook! I can't it hurts so much, and you wanted me to come there, why?! I could-" I pulled him into my arms as he broke down and cry.

"why would you want me to see him like that?" he said as he cried into my chest and my heart broke.

I pulled him into my home and closed the door. Allowing him to cry into my chest as I hugged him into my arms.

He didn't ignore me, and he got my letter. He didn't come because he didn't want to give us a second chance, he didn't show because he couldn't face our son's grave. Why didn't I think of that? Knowing this hurt me and made me feel bad once more.

However, apart of it gave me hope to know that he showed up in front of my door. I wasn't sure why, but I am hoping it's the same reason as to why I was going to see him.