My Man Crush | Jinkook ✔️

Thirty-Four

"I didn't know he was pregnant when I left dad." I didn't expect for my dad to be so angry at me for this.

My dad shut his eyes tightly and took in a deep intake of breath and then breathe back out. "Jungkook, did you use protection?" my father leans his head to the side and looks at me expectantly.

"N-no." I hung my head low.

"Did you take sex ed.?"

"Of course, I did dad...I messed up, okay. I know, and now I am trying to make things right. I have my daughter every weekend now. I took him to court and got custody of her." I did something to get involved in my child's life; sure he'd see that.

"EXCUSE ME. YOU DID WHAT?"  what the hell is he yelling for now? His tone was so strong and profound; I was surprised a slap didn't follow it.

I raise my head and look up at him, hesitant to make eye contact with him. "I got custody of my daughter. My son already died, and I don't even know what he looks like. He didn't want me to know about them. I- don't know dad. I acted without thinking, but I have her now, and he allows me to see her, well the court did, but we are okay now." My words were a jumble, and I didn't exactly know how to describe the situation to him. He's probably misjudging me right now. Similar to that damn judge.

"I can't do this with you. I am calling your mother." He shakes his head and pulls out his phone.

"NO! Please don't call mom. She's going to be disappointed in me."  I pleaded with him. My mom would never forgive if she knew she had grandkids out there for this long and didn't know about them. She's been fussing for Jimin and me to have a child in forever.

"Your mother needs to know about this. She has to know. Do you think you can continue to keep these things a secret? You should've thought about all of this before you did what you did and the lame-ass excuses you come up with. Son, I'm so disappointed in you to the point I feel ashamed with you carrying the family name right now.

How dare you even fight for custody when you left the guy? Oh, wait I am sorry you left because you thought I wanted you to "marry" Jimin.

Did you even try to talk to him before fighting for custody? Lets backtrack, tell me exactly what happened, word for word." My father stood in front of me, his arms folded as he looked at me, expectantly for an answer.

Leaning back in the chair, letting out a deep sigh, I told him everything that happened, trying my best to give him the truth. I knew my father. If I didn't give him the truth, he'd figured it out somehow. Or he'd find Jin and ask him about it. Either way, I'm sure he was going to find Jin.

Once I was done telling my father everything. He pulled for a seat and sat down. He was silent for a good minute, until he looked over at me, "son, you fucked up big time." He sighs heavily.

"Dad, I know. I'm trying to fix things now. Areum knows me, and I have her every weekend now. I wish I had gotten to meet my son...."

"You would've had you done things differently. That poor guy must have suffered so much. Two kids at such a young age. Raising them without a father. Then having to bury one. While you moved on with your life. Married and living life. My goodness Jungkook you really fucked up! I have to get your mother involved. I don't even know how to handle this one. And don't you dare tell me handled it, because you didn't. Fighting for custody is not you handling shit. That's you making that man's wound deeper.

I don't know how you became like this. To feel so entitled, even after being in the wrong. You could've also consulted with us before you did what you did. This is just too much. You are getting a divorce, and then you have a kid, I don't get you Jungkook." My father bends his head and runs his hand through his hair. Then he looked back up at me.

"Did you at least apologize to him?"

I look towards the window in the room. "I-I, don't remember," I mumbled out.

"That's it. I'm done. You are going to fix this! Do you understand me?" My father got up from his seat and stood directly in front of me. "I'm getting your mother involved, and I need that guy's information. I want him to know, not everyone in the Jeon family is a fuck-up, and some of us are humble enough to apologize for our wrongs.

I don't understand. Why would you sleep with him if you didn't care about him? If you knew you were going to leave. Even so, you slept with him, why not wear a fucking condom. Are you that much of an idiot Jungkook! You can't go around playing with peoples feelings, especially a young guy like he was." My dads' rant was getting to me. He was misjudging me and what happened.

"That's not true!" I yelled out.

"What's not true, you being an idiot?"

"Dad stop! I did love him. The only fucking man I'd ever love in my entire life. He was too young at the time. You wouldn't have accepted him at the time. He couldn't come to the states with me. He was in high school, what the hell did you want me to do? I did only what I could've at the time. I was wrong okay! Is that what all of you want me to say, fine, I was wrong. I'm pathetic. I'm a sperm donor; I'm all of it. I fucked up, and in fucking up, I lost the only guy I cared about."  I know I messed up and I don't know how to fix it. Why even try and fix it when he hates me.

"You certainly have an odd way of showing your love. Also, you don't know what I would've accepted. Jeon Jungkook, you need to do some self-reflecting and stop making excuses. I don't understand how you can proclaim to love this guy and yet you walked out of his life the way you did. That's not loving. That's abuse."

I pulled back and looked at my dad, "I did not abuse him!"

"Yes, son, you did. You abused his emotion. You took advantage of him. Until you realize and take ownership for what you've done, I won't be able to look at you the same.

All I need right now is your mother involved, and I want to meet my grandchild. You need to grow up son and stop making excuses." My father didn't give me a chance to respond and walked out of the room, leaving me feeling empty.