My Man Crush | Jinkook ✔️

Fifty-Nine

Seokjin Pov:

After giving him a light kiss on his lips, I pulled away instantly. I had betrayed my own rule on taking things slowly. All it took for him was to shed a few tears, and I caved.

I look up at him, and our eyes held each other in the silence. My heart was pounding in my chest.

Jungkook eyes shined bright in the night as he stared at me. His eyes were no longer filled with sadness, but something else. I could sense his eyes searching mines before he encircles his arms around me, and pulls me close to him. He held onto me tightly like he never wants to let go.

My emotion was all over the place as I look back at him. Fear was taking over above all as I worried if I had made a wrong move. Not being able to hold his gaze, any longer I bury my head in his neck and hold on to him.

I guess he sensed the fear in me; he placed his hand on my shoulder and tenderly thrust my head up to look at him.

"I don't want you to hide from me," he whispered as he continues to look into my eyes. There's a softness in his eyes and expression that I've never seen before.

His hand reaches up to my face, and he grazes my cheek lightly with his thumb. He moves in closer to me and kisses me almost teasingly. His first kiss is soft and gentle, our lips barely connecting. He pulls back and looks into my eyes, seeking my approval to continue. I didn't have words to convey what I wanted. I wasn't sure if I wanted him to stop or for him to continue. Instead of giving a response, I reached for his hand and pulled it back to my face. I missed the feeling of his warmth on my face.

He pulls me into another kiss, this time more firm than the previous. His tongue flicks tenderly against mine, and his hand moves to the back of my head, gently tugging in my hair, and pulling me to him.

He begins to kiss me hard. The kiss is overflowing with the intensity; I had seen radiating in his eyes earlier. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him with as much passion as he was kissing me with. He presses his lips to mine, melding us together, his tongue exploring my mouth, snake-like wrapping around mines. I pull my body closer to his to feel more of his warmth as his hand caresses my bareback underneath my shirt.

The knot of fear that was once in my stomach slowly unravels and is restored by the intoxicating swell of desire only he could stimulate in me. We kiss like this for a while before pulling apart. I was the first to pull away as I know if I didn't all self-control would've been lost and as much I was enjoying our kiss, I couldn't allow it to go much further than that tonight, especially not outside in the hills.

"I think we should go," I say to Jungkook as I pulled away entirely from him and stood up.

"Okay. Are you having regrets?" I look down at him to see him now wearing an expression of worry.

"Oh, gosh, no. No regrets, we are good. I just think we should head home before it gets any later or things to get any more complicated." I told him with a small laugh.

He stood up and pulled me into his arms, "I am happy that you are not regretting this moment and I hope you never do. Tonight is the most alive I felt in years. I never really knew how much I missed you until tonight. It has proven to me that I don't ever want you gone out of my life again. I was stupid before, but I won't make the same mistake twice."

"I don't and I won't if you don't give me a reason to. I felt the same way tonight. You put a lot of effort into tonight, and I am thankful for that, it meant a lot to me."

He pulls tighter into his arms and presses his forehead against mine. I could feel his heart beating against my chest and weirdly enough. I enjoyed the feeling. "Seokjin, I love you. I don't remember if I have ever said these words to you, but I want you to know before I take you home that I love you, and I am serious about us. If you have any worries any concerns, let's talk them out together, let's communicate to build a stronger bond. Where I have been wrong before, I want to get it right this time around, but in doing so, I will need your honesty and guidance. If I am moving too fast, let me know.

I fear to mess up and lose out again, and I just want to do right by you, but if I am not, please tell me. If I am not doing right by Areum, please tell me as well. I want to develop into a man you are proud to call your own."

I couldn't stop the tears that escape from my eyes. "Why are you being like this? I am not used to you being like this. You can't do this to me Jungkook." I am not used to this side of Jungkook, and my emotions are all out of wack. I don't know how to deal with him like this. He is making me feel things that I have tried so hard to bury.

"Babe, you don't have to say anything back. I am being the me I should've been years ago. I am being real and raw with you. I want you to see the inner me, and not the outer parts that have always hidden the things I felt deep inside when it comes to you." How can he stare me into my eyes and break into my soul with such ease, this is not good. I am fucked all over again.

"I understand. Let's go home." That's all I could say. I didn't exactly trust myself to say anything else.

This was only our first date, after all, I was interested in seeing what else Jeon Jungkook could deliver.

*****

A/N: We survived the first date. I guess that's good news.