When Lennon met Harry

Just ignore my big swollen face

Amsterdam

Harry and I have been in countless hotel rooms, in countries all over the world. They've been the place where we've had late night meetings, shared wine, giggled and somewhere along the way, we fell in love.

I don't know why it never occurred to me that of course I love Harry.

I don't know when and where it happened, I just know that when he said it, beyond Joe's gasp and Monica's squeal... I knew it too. All of the small things; the way he laughs softly, sending a prickle of goosebumps across my skin; the way we can talk for hours and hours, well into the dead of the night and there never seems to be enough time for everything we want to say; the warm, musky smell of his skin; the way he takes everything I hate about myself, my clumsiness, my awkwardness and turns it into something endearing, something loveable; the way he sings to himself in the shower; the sharp V of his abdomen; his absurd, playful nature.

Everything. I love it all.

"Say something, Lennon." His voice is soft, pleading. I left the room almost immediately after his sudden revelation and he followed, leaving Lydia, Joe and Monica to make of it what they want. "I just panicked... I didn't intend to say it like that. I mean, it's not exactly romantic and I have no idea if you-"

"I do." I nod awkwardly, not bringing myself to dare say it (just in case he's changed his mind), "you know. I... thingy you too."

"How romantic." He grins despite himself. "I've always wanted a girl to be deeply in thingy with me."

"Shut up, Harry." I mutter, feeling a flush crawl up my cheeks.

"We can sort this all out, Lennon." He says softly, edging around the bed towards me. As soon as he's close enough he pulls me into his arms, resting his cheek on the top of my head. Somewhere below us in the gardens Niall and Liam are having a bizarre argument about red lentils, completely unaware of the drama unfolding with Harry's management.

"Look, if I agree to forget about what Lydia did, then I'm sure that she will overlook-"

"But she got Ty fired!" I gape, pulling away from him slightly. "And she's sold videos to the media, you can't just let her get away with it, Harry!"

"She's got us over a barrel." He sighs softly. "Maybe now that it's all out in the open it'll be better."

"What, when she brings Belle Marie back and can taunt me even more?" I feel my lips begin to wobble and even though I don't want start crying, I can't help it. I pinch the bridge of my nose, even as tears begin to slip down my cheeks.

Harry's hand slips under my chin to raise my face and I can't help pulling my head back so that he doesn't feel the little hairs there, on top of everything else.

"Lennon." He says gently, "it's not just this, is it?"

I shake my head, trying not to cry and avoid snot bubbles; "It's just everything..." I sniff, swallowing noisely. I bet Taylor Swift cries attractively.

"It's losing your best friend, and knowing that you were in the wrong. I'm to blame for that, by the way, I've been scarred so many times by people who've sold out on me that my automatic reaction is to assume that it must always be the person closest to you." Harry sits on the edge of the bed, pulling me with him. The argument below has now extended to include other beans and pulses and Niall is getting quite aggressive by the sounds of it.

"... It's also the fact that you're travelling the world and all you're seeing is the inside of hotel rooms and stadiums. I get that, it's been my life for 5 years and it can be so frustrating. It's that Lydia bullies you, Monica overrules you and you've lost Ty." He says all this is a soft voice as his fingers make circles on my thigh. "And most of all..." He adds quietly, "it's that you know that everyone wants what you've got. You should be having the time of your life, but you're not and you don't know why."

"How do you know that?" I sniff. My face always swells when I cry.

"Because I feel like that too. More often than you could imagine. And then..." His lovely green eyes scan my puffy face, "sometimes I just feel so disconnected from the rest of the world. And before this tour, both me and Zayn were feeling it so much, just this horrible sense that we had everything and we should be grateful for it. But there was something missing, some gaping gap where the normalcy in our lives should have been. As if we'd missed out in some way... And then you tumbled into my life. You, with your bloody awful granny pants and your knack for saying exactly the wrong thing every single time, and your way of making the most mundane, boring moment into something hilarious. And you turned my world completely upside down. I mean, life with you is just... I just never know what's coming next or what you're going to say or do. I'm addicted to it. I'm addicted to you. So when I said that I love you, it might have been a panicked response, but I truly meant it. I do love you, Lennon Lovelace."

Now I'm crying in an ugly way.

"I love you too, Harry." I whisper.

Niall screams from below; "BAKED BEANS DO NOT COUNT YOU HEATHEN BASTARD!"

Harry gently lays back on the bed and for a moment I'm laid awkwardly across him, until I roll over. He shuffles across and lays his head on my stomach. I thread my fingers through his curls and think, my mind racing down a million paths at once.

"If you go to Lydia and offer to forgive everything if she lets me stay, she'll still insist that Belle Marie rejoins you as a phoney girlfriend."

"Probably." He sighs.

"And then all three of them will be here, all openly knowing about me and you." I cringe at the thought. "And you'll have to do anything she says, in order to protect me. She'll have so much power, just by threatening to expose me she can control you. And after a while it'll cause so many problems, so much resentment between me and you, and you and your management.

Harry doesn't say anything. He knows I'm right.

"If I left the tour, you could deal with Lydia and Monica. They'd have no power over you. And you and me could..."

"We couldn't do anything, Lennon." He says miserably, "the terms of your contract are quite clear. You leaving mid-tour to pursue a romantic relationship with me wouldn't be allowed. Lydia is very highly thought of at Modest!, she could make sure that the cat 'accidentally' got out of the bag, and next thing you're being sued for breach of contract and the whole would knows about us. If you left, I guarantee that I wouldn't be allowed to stay in contact with you. Even Joe will tell me so."

"They can't control who you date." I say doubtfully.

Harry laughs then, a bitter, short sound; "C'mon Lennon, what do you think they've been doing for the past 5 years? Do you think I chose to be in all these fake romances?"

"So our options are; I stay here and Lydia has even more power over you, or I leave and we're not allowed to carry on like we have been." Tears are spiking in my eyes again.

"That's right." Harry nods slowly.

"She always wins. Always."

Harry's hand threads itself through mine and I close my swollen eyes, relishing the soft, weight of his head on my stomach and the heat of his body pressed to mine. The argument below us includes Louis now, who is doing is best to wind both Liam and Niall up. A soft breeze flutters across our skin and the early evening glow surrounds us.

And as I think it over, I know that I've made my decision.

****

AN- See, I can update quickly!

Just a couple of chapters left... And the next chapter is almost ready. I'm aiming to be finished this story very, very shortly.

Extremely embarrassing confession time... I've been writing this story for 3 and a half years. Omg 🙈🙈🙈
In that time I've started and completed 6 other stories!! I don't know why this has taken me so long. Some of you have been here since day one, which is utterly insane and incredible! I promise there's not going to be a long wait between the final chapters. I owe it to you all to not keep anyone hanging at the end, so I'll update as quickly as I have this one.
I'm so, so grateful to every single one of you. Thanks so much.

This is dedicated to AaishaSiddique thanks so much for reading sis ♥️♥️

Any predictions?