When Lennon met Harry

The world is my oyster. But I don't like seafood.

Three weeks.

Three entire weeks since the shocking news came.

Glen spent the first 24 hours laid on the sofa, wearing a back brace and obsessively watching every second of the news. Every time he moved, a mini scream of pain escaped his lips.

I it found extremely hard to have sympathy for two reasons;

1) Instead of telling Justin the hot barista (aka FOUR TIME London marathon winner)- that he can't even spell exercise without spell check; Glen tried to match him lap for lap around the park. His legs were shaking for three hours afterwards.

2) Care of Glens 14 doggy daycare dogs then fell to me. I picked up more shit in 24 hours than an industrial sewage system.

In-between all of this, we were both following the unfolding headline news about Zayn's departure. I tried to call Harry several times through the night, but his phone was either switched off or constantly engaged. I text Zayn, of course, just to let him know that I hoped he was ok and that I was there if he needed me. I doubt he even saw my message, I can only imagine how crammed with messages his phone was, how many people were phoning and texting, demanding answers, wanting the insider gossip.

I spoke to Ty and Star almost immediately but otherwise just like everyone else, I watched the whole thing unfold on TV and twitter. The phone calls from journalists started almost straight away, I don't have a clue how they got my number but my mobile began to buzz so frequently that I had to turn it off. Maybe they were hoping to get some new angle on the story, trying to find a link between me leaving the tour and this latest shocking twist. I wasn't worried, I bet every single person connected to the tour was being harassed in the same way, as the media scraped for a headline insider gossip.

I wouldn't have anything to tell them anyway.

Or maybe I would. Maybe we could all see how unhappy Zayn was and this hasn't surprised me as much as I thought it did. Maybe the record company and the media will be able to see how much pressure the constant demands of touring and having your every move monitored has on someone. Or maybe they won't. This is has been happening since The Beatles and Zayn is just the latest in a long line of collateral along the way. I can only imagine the meltdown at Modest! at the minute. The ones I feel sorry for are the fans. The band meant so much to them. One Direction defined an entire era in their lives, the band was something that they poured all of their love and support into; and now it's all unravelling before their eyes.

Just looking on Twitter, you can see how genuinely hurt they are, how sad that something they love so much has changed forever. One Direction were more than a band to the fans, they were a community, something that bound and united them in so many ways. They came together from all over the world, to love and enjoy these boys that were the centre of their universe. And now it's all crumbling away.

It's so hard to say goodbye to something you love so much and to know that there's nothing you can do to change things, that it's all out of your hands and all you can do is feel the horrible, powerless emptiness that comes with it.

I know that better than anyone. Seeing Harry's face makes me more and more miserable. If I'd have known Zayn was leaving, would I have left the tour? Probably not. But life isn't like that, if you choose the wrong path, you just have to keep walking along it. You can rarely turn back.

Harry has text me every day, short messages, just to check that I'm ok, if there's anything he can do for me. The sweetness of him, the way he cares so much when the bottom has just fallen out of his world just makes me even sadder.

The drama has spiraled out of control. Zayn in the studio with Naughty Boy. Rumours that Harry's leaving next. The band promising another album.

Glen- who has suddenly become less interested in the coffee shop since Justin nearly 'murdered him' (Glen's words, not mine)- has gone to far as to set up an anti-Naughty Boy twitter account. He spent 5 hours yesterday passionately arguing with a 12 year old girl who was supporting Zayn. I can only assume that the girl got the better of him as he was in such a bad mood that he couldn't settle into Drag Race and kept muttering things that he should have said.