A man who writes songs, and plays shows for a living. He dreams of teaching his daughter to piano, guitar, drums, everything. He can't wait to share his world with her. Music. But when she gets sick as a infant those dreams might disappear.
#1 - afy...
Zack had left a couple of hours after Sarah and I got home from the store. I found a sliding door lock on Amazon but for the time being, we put a chair in front of the door. It will stop her or we will hear her. Sarah is pretty distressed about it, she doesn't like that Tatum is growing up. It scares her. I walked into our bedroom, Sarah was sat looking at a framed photo of Tat.
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We took it on her second birthday just weeks before she got sick. It was after she started saying things like Mama, Dada, doggy, music. But just a month later she was wordless, screaming, and crying.
"Babe," I mumbled sitting next to her on our bed.
"I just— remember when she would say mama and dada? When you would say her name and she would turn." Sarah sighed, dropping her head into her hands. I hugged her into my side, we both struggled with missing the kid Tatum was. Grief in a way.
"We can't do this forever. What about school? She doesn't want to learn ASL she can't read or spell or write." Sarah stammered I sighed.
"We will figure it out. She doing good with the pictures and she's trying, we are trying." I tried my best to soothe her worries.
"Brendon, she needs the cochlear implants. No, if ands or buts. She needs them." She does but we've been down this road.
"But she's not gonna get them. Insurance wouldn't approve it, we've tried."
"Yeah but clearly she's trying to communicate, she's in there. I just can't understand how they don't see that." Sarah started getting mad.
I hate that I have to be the bad guy here, I want Tatum to get them too but our insurance company will not approve it because from what they can see,
"Tatum shows no want or need to communicate...", "We believe the child's behavior and emotional issues are not the response to her lack of hearing. It possibly stems from an inherited mental/emotional illness..." "we do not believe that the deafness of the child is impending on her daily life."
She isn't talking because she can't hear, she can't read because she can't hear, she can't write because she can't hear, she acts out because of the impact of her deafness not because I have ADD, anxiety, or anything else.
"Sarah, Hey... it's okay we will figure it out." I put my hands on her shoulders and looked into her eyes.
"I—I know. It's just, it's so fucking hard. I can't explain things to her, like the pool. She can't swim, the pool is dangerous but I can't tell her that." She cried, soon we were both crying because parenting is so hard.
"Bbbb—b..." With that Tatum wandered into our room, she grabbed onto Sarah's arm.
"Mom." She signed, looking longingly at Sarah. It's rare that she signs names like that, I don't know why. She clearly knows them, I think maybe she saves them for when we need them.
"What's up, baby?" She replied, tearfully. Tatum didn't respond with anything but trying to wipe Sarah's tears.
"Come here, T." Sarah chuckled, pulling Tat into her lap and hugging her. "I love you... I'm not sad about you, I'm just remembering." She mumbled into Tatum's shoulder.
————— The next day —————
"I feel bad about leaving, I just got home for tour..." I sighed leaning on the kitchen island.
"Bren it's okay. It's only a couple of days." She smiled back, every time she smiles I remember how lucky I am.
"But I'm never here, I just feel like I am losing out on having a relationship with her."
"Hey, how about you go get her up and we can go out and have breakfast. Maybe the park? Then T and I will drive you to the airport." I smiled and nodded.
"That would be cool, yeah I'll go get her up and ready." I smiled wide at Sarah, spending the day with my two favorite girls.
—————— Hey friends! Sorry, this took forever, kinda been stuck in a writer's rut. I think it will get better when school started, because well you know I don't pay attention I just think of fan fiction plots. 😂
