When We Were Us

Dora's secret

Finn didn't call me so I naturally assumed that he hadn't asked Dora for my number. When I called Dora, she didn't pick up. I finally managed to reach her on her landline. Dora informed me that she had turned her phone off and that she was going to keep it that way for a while. I understood immediately. Although I didn't ask her out of courtesy, I understood that something must have happened between Dora and Kay. Why is that such a big deal, you might ask? Hadn't that been her intention from the very beginning? Well, Dora was in a serious four years relationship. Before you start getting judgmental, you should understand Dora's relationship.

Dora used to be in our high school choir. When the school choir collaborated with a local music school, she fell in love at first sight with one of the musicians. He was five years older, which might not be a big deal now but it was then since we were only seventeen. Karl, the older musician, was also smitten with Dora. However, Dora felt insecure due to the age gap and was hesitant to start a relationship. Karl told her he would wait until she felt ready, which we all thought was very romantic. Eventually we graduated high school and Dora and Karl finally got together. They had the ideal relationship, or so we thought. Karl was a bit of a womanizer and had dated all sorts of girls before, except one type: a virgin. At first he told her he would be patient and wait for her to feel ready, as he had done before. Eventually his patience started wearing thin. After four years, he started pressuring her to have sex with him. Some people might think that for someone who was used to getting regular sex, four years was a long time. But Karl professed that he was going to marry Dora. If you love someone enough to want to marry them and spend the rest of their lives with them, then fours years is nothing.

We went clubbing for Amy's 22nd birthday. Amy was a neighbor, a distant cousin and my high school classmate but we only became best friends after high school. A group of us decided to go all out. At the last minute, my college roommate Angela called asking me what I was doing so we invited her as well. After drinks and more drinks, we ended up at a club. While everybody was having fun, Dora and I got stuck looking after a very wasted and sleeping Angela. That's when Karl showed up and inquired why we weren't dancing. Once we explained, Karl offered to look after Angela while we danced a few dances. Thinking that this was Karl's typical perfect boyfriend behavior, we left Angela alone with him. When we came back, both of them had disappeared. A search party was set out and we finally found them. That's when I started feeling suspicious. The next day I interrogated Angela but she said she didn't remember anything. Thinking that I was being paranoid, I decided I would ignore the naggy feeling I had. It was Karl, for God's sake.

However, three months later, back in college, Angela and I got wasted. That's when she confessed what happened that night. Karl woke her up and told her he would take her to get fresh air. Instead, he took her to a dark corner and made-out with her. She was too drunk to realize what was happening. However, when she heard him unzipping his pants, she pushed him away and stopped him.

I was disgusted. But most of all, I was scared. How was I supposed to tell Dora? But knowing it was the right thing to do, I decided I would tell her next time I was back home.

I told her everything Angela had told me without leaving out any detail. When I saw tears in Dora's eyes, I could only imagine the pain she was feeling. But then she made the most shocking revelation.

"I know." Dora told me. That one sentence sent shivers running up my body.

"What do you mean you know?" I asked.

She told me that she had also become suspicious that night. However, when she asked him, he turned on her and accused her of being distrustful. It took many tries before he finally confessed. Dora broke up with him. However, after a month she realized how much she missed him and that she couldn't live without him. She went back to him.

I was left flabbergasted.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked.

"I was too ashamed." Dora admitted.

"But you must have felt so alone. Talking things out with a friend could have helped you. I should have been there for you."

"It's alright. Kay was there for me. And he told me that boys sometimes make mistakes but it doesn't mean they love you any less. He told me it was okay to forgive him."

"Who the hell is Kay?" I asked. I hated Kay, whoever he was. He was a boy, of course he'd tell her to forgive him. I'd have kept her strong, I'd have told her to break up with him. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Who knew how many times he'd cheated on her before? The time with Angela was the only time he got caught.

"Kay is a friend from college. He's been there for me." Dora told me. I wanted to tell her Kay was wrong. But Dora was crying so hard I knew that my job as a friend was to console her, not aggravate her. So I kept quiet.

Fast forward to Dora's birthday. It was supposed to be a girls' night out, which was why Karl wasn't invited. But Dora decided to invite Kay and I'm pretty sure she hooked up with him. Kay, knowing how vulnerable Dora was, convinced her that cheating was okay. Then he made her cheat as well. Knowing Dora and her strong moral code (she wanted to remain a virgin till marriage, for God's sake!), it must have killed her. I knew Kay took advantage of her. But I also knew Dora used him to get back at Karl. She wanted nothing to do with Kay and she wanted to continue with Karl as if nothing had happened. As her friend, I had to respect that. I also had to respect the fact that now there was no way Finn and I could get in touch. I was upset but I told myself that it was for the better. I remembered how Finn was that night, how I had accused him of being a manwhore. Besides, he was friends with Kay. You know what they say, birds of a feather flock together. Finn was bad news and this was fate's way of keeping me from him. Finn would bring me nothing but a broken-heart.