When We Were Us

The feminist and the manwhore

I had known from the beginning that falling for Finn would be hard.The first issue that I ran into was other girls.Finn knew a lot of girls and wherever we went we were always ambushed by  hoards of girls wanting to say hello or chat or catch up.Some would hug him and others would even give him kisses on the cheek. It wasn't just random girls.Even the waitresses of every place we went seemed to have a soft spot for him.

Let me get one thing straight.I've never been the jealous type,ever.But even I must admit that I felt something during such occasions and I wasn't proud of it.The worst part was that I couldn't say anything because we hadn't defined the relationship yet. I tried to console myself by telling myself that it wasn't like Finn was popular with girls only.He had a seemingly uncountable number of guy friends.More often than not,our dates would be hijacked by his friends,both boys and girls, who would casually sit with us and take over.At first Finn used to ask me if I was okay with it.It wasn't as if I could say no.What would he do?Send his friends away?Eventually,thinking that I enjoyed his friends' presence,he stopped asking. So often what started out as romantic dates would soon transform into drinking and shouting matches among his very loud and hyperactive friends.There were several things that I didn't like about such occasions. First of all,his friends were super pushy.They were all proud alcoholics who threatened to hold me down and force me to drink if I refused to drink with them.Finn, who I thought was a non-smoker, would smoke whenever in their presence.Lastly, and I know this sounds weird, it was like they wanted me to be part of the group when I'd rather not.I felt uncomfortable in their presence and praying for things to be over so that I could enjoy Finn as he walked me home.But they wouldn't let me enjoy some peace and quiet.They'd poke me and ask me questions and would try to force me to join in the debauchery when all I wanted to do was shrink and be ignored.

It was one of those nights when Sara, Finn's second best friend after Kay, was trying to drunkenly start a conversation with me.She mentioned how she had helped Finn look for me.My ears perked up.I had always thought that was something he had told me to get into my pants.

"Did he really look for me for four months?"I asked Sara.

"Yep, he kept bugging us to ask everybody we knew as well.He was dead set on finding you.He knew you were special from the beginning."

"Erm,thanks."I said feeling awkward. "But it's not like he abstained while he looked for me.I'm sure he hooked up."

"Well, it's Finn!"Sara said.I had this suspicion for a while.It's not like he owed me anything.He had no guarantee he would find me.Besides,four months!But I still felt hurt.

"It's a good thing too."Sara continued.

"How so?"

"That's how he found you."

"He found me through a hookup?!"

"Yes.An old college classmate of yours.What was her name?Laura?"

"Lauren?Cute,short and chubby?"I asked.

"Yes, her.Man can she handle her drink!"
I was shocked.Lauren was the one who had given him my number!Lauren and I weren't on good terms.We were friends for a short time during freshman year.That's when Angela and I used to ignore each other.I didn't have any friends.I was new and lost.Then Lauren came in pretending to be nice and all.She said she needed my help studying but she wasn't interested in studying at all.She was only being nice to me because she had heard I was good in school and she wanted to cheat off me.That was the only reason she had been nice to me.Once I found out,I refused to help her cheat and she was furious.She called me every bad word imaginable. I've been steering clear of her ever since.

But even more shocking than the fact that he got my number from her was the fact that Finn had hooked up with someone dishonest like Lauren!I thought he was better than that. I turned my chair to face Finn.

"You got my number from Lauren!"I exclaimed

"Huh?"Finn was drunk.To be honest I was tipsy myself.

"Lauren?The girl you hooked up with?The one who gave you my number?"I reminded him.

"Oh, her?What about her?"He asked.I told him how I knew her.

"I can't believe you hooked up with her."

"I never liked her anyway.She was just a skank."He said nonchalantly. I froze.

"What did you just call her?"I asked.

"What?She is."He said defensively. "This one time she let two of my friends do her in the bathroom of a club while her boyfriend was in the club."

I was shocked but I was still upset at Finn.

"That doesn't give you the right to call her,or any girl, a skank.It's her life,she can do whatever she wants. Who are you to judge her?On top of it,you hooked up with her.You've hooked up with countless of girls.Nobody goes around calling you a skank.Ever heard of double standards?"I shouted.Finn sobered up.He looked confused.

"You just said that you couldn't believe I hooked up with her.I thought you were talking about how she...er,fools around."

"No,Finn.I would never judge anyone because of their sexual life.I was talking about how she tried to intimidate me into letting her cheat off me.I hate dishonesty more than anything.I hate it.But what I hate more than that is boys calling girls skanks or sluts or whatever!I expected better from you."

"But..."Finn looked confused."You called me a manwhore the first time we met!"

I blushed.

"That's true.But I said it to your face.I wasn't going around talking behind your back.ANd it was a joke.But if it offended you,I apologize."

"Oh."Finn said."I'm too drunk to think right.But I see it means a lot to you so I apologize."

"Thank you."I said but I was still upset.

"Do you want to go home?"He asked.I nodded.I was sick of the overcrowded place.Finn and I walked home in silence.We were around the corner from my house when Finn started talking.

"I get why you're mad."He started. "I can't even start to imagine how hard it must to be a girl.If you don't put out, you're called frigid.If you do, then you're a slut.What I said about Lauren...that wasn't me.I guess I'm just used to hanging out around my friends,both male and female, and a lot of words you wouldn't appreciate go around.I guess I've never thought about what the words implied.I really am sorry."

I felt relieved.I appreciated that he apologized but I was still not yet satisfied.

"And you won't say it ever again?"I asked.

"Never!"He said without hesitating."I mean it might slip out from time to time but I'll be quick to correct myself."

"Thank you."I said.

"Am I forgiven?"He asked.I nodded.He pulled me in for a bear hug and kissed me on my forehead.

"My girlfriend is a little feminist,huh?" He said smiling.I could have said a lot of things.I could have told him that it wasn't about being a feminist but about basic human decency. But all I could think of was that he called me his girlfriend!I'm his girlfriend,I'm his girlfriend!!!But I didn't want to show him how happy I was.

"Do you believe in the social, political and economic equality of the sexes?"I asked him.

"Yes, of course."

"Then you're a feminist too."I informed him.

"I've been called far worse things.I've even been called a manwhore."