We All End Up In Purgatory

Sometimes, We Get Donuts [3]

The very split-second Wynonna arrived back at the homestead, she whipped her pants off, threw an oversized pair of sweatpants on, slipped on her favorite baggy t-shirt and jumped on the couch. The flipped the TV on and began scrolling through the channels, settling on a re-run of Ru Paul's Drag Race.

"Oh, hell yes. This is my shit!"

She made some popcorn and grabbed one of many blankets draped over the couch. Not even a minute into the show, her phone began buzzing. Mercedes.

"Can't I have one frickin' minute alone."

She picked up the phone, "What's up?"

"Hey bitch!" Whoa. Someone was excited. "Let's get into some trouble! Shorty's?"

Wynonna pondered the idea of going out with Mercedes, getting so drunk on whisky that she has to get carried out of the bar and sleeping for 14 hours minimum once arriving home. She was game.

"I'm in but you're ordering the Uber home."

"Yes bitch! Put your heels on, we're going to go absolutely crazy." First of all, Wynonna wasn't going to wear heels, but she would certainly go crazy. Instead she put on her boots, a red mesh crop top, her favorite pair of leather pants, and she could never forget her leather jacket.

Mercedes and Wynonna met up at the station. Her blue pickup next to a seemingly brand-new BMW sedan. Of course.

"This should be a good time." Wynonna muttered under her breath, attitude slipping through her teeth.

Mercedes began strutting towards Shorty's and Wynonna followed closely behind. Waverly had just landed, and Wynonna had to make sure her sister knew that she wasn't going to burn the whole town down in a matter of 5 days.

"Hey baby girl. Have fun. Everyone is in fact still alive and in one piece, shocking I know. Go have fun. Talk later. Xoxo Bacon Donut." She hit send and took a deep breath. "Oh lord. C'mon Wynonna. Don't Earp this up."

Shorty's was dead. The usual Friday crowd wasn't in which gave the bar an emptiness that provided no fun to the girls. They had a few drinks and decided to head back to the homestead and just have a movie night. As they were walking out, Mercedes spotted a flyer from Pussy Willows posted on a telephone pole right outside of Shorty's. Drink specials all night, good music and a good time. It seemed perfect.

"Pussy Willows is having a drink special. Maybe The Pussy has a bigger crowd. It's right around rush hour." Wynonna agreed and they proceeded towards the building with the flashing lights, tinted windows, that dreadful brown and white awning and the saloon door stickers stuck to the front doors. Classy.

As soon as they entered The Pussy, they looked around. Something was definitely not right. It could not have been more wrong. The first thing Wynonna noticed was a huge neon sign that flashed "Girls! Girls! Girls!", women were on top of tables in almost no clothing, swinging their hips to the bass dominated track playing from overhead and to top it all off, one of the men within the establishment immediately recognized her and called her "Aphrodite".

"Girl's night? Really?! Dude, we can't do this. I'm so not into it."

"Oh shit. The poster didn't say anything about girl's night. I swear I read it right." Wynonna snatched the flyer from the wall, and sure enough, in small print it said,

"Girl's night".

"Clearly, I brought the wrong redhead." She muttered under her breath, "This blows, dude."

"Oh relax. It'll be fun. Girl's night means there are going to be tons of guys looking for girls who want to get their groove on. Come on, Earp, grab some whisky and chill out. It'll be fun." Mercedes found a table near the stage and began immediately chatting it up with the multiple guys sitting and watching.

Wynonna walked to the bar and went to order two whiskies but she took the bottle and 2 glassed instead. After making her way to the table where Mercedes made herself at home, she took off her leather jacket and sat in the chair, dreading the night but looking forward to the mouth-watering glass of whisky resting in front of her.

The night proceeded, whiskies were downed, and the dancing had begun. Some of the girls dancing recognized Wynonna and pushed some of the newer girls toward her to get Wynonna dancing. She was just drunk enough to the point that anyone offering to dance was good enough for her. Her hair was flipping, hips swaying, knees bouncing. Mercedes was next to her attempting to jump up and down in her heels, stumbling a few times.

A man sauntered over to the two girls (who were pretty whisky drunk by now) and told them to kiss. Shouting at them like they were animals at the zoo.

"Piss off, buddy." Wynonna was slurring her words, "I am... not like... gay or anything. I keep telling myself I brought... the wrong redhead."

The man and Wynonna bantered on for another minute or two before Mercedes took her drink and threw it on the man standing in front of them, still looking for a show. As the whisky landed on him, the two girls noticed a shred of regret in his eyes before he dried off as best he could, and walked out of the establishment.

A few more hours passed by and many more drinks went down their throats. Wynonna checked her phone in case Waverly had texted her but there was no way she was going to be able to respond let alone read what Waves had sent. No text. She glanced at the time. 3 am. Knowing herself and Mercedes, they had to get out of there now, or they wouldn't make it out ever.

The redhead was practically making out with one of the girls when Wynonna grabbed her shoulder and spun Mercedes around.

"Whoa. Don't spin me that quickly. I'm going to throw up." She was slurring her words.

"Come on. It's time to go." The music was so loud, and the bass was so deep that Wynonna couldn't hear herself think or speak. Mercedes shuffled over to the table, grabbed her coat and walked out with her arm around Wynonna for support.

"What's next?" Mercedes was poised to tackle something else.

"Nothing lady. We're going home."

"But, bitch, I'm hungry."

"I don't know if anything is open Mer. It's like 3 in the morning." Then a light bulb went off in her head. Les Petits Donuts. Everybody loves donuts, especially Wynonna. "Come on. We might get drunk every night, but sometimes, we get donuts."