Never the Same

Chapter 20

I'm twiddling my fingers as I wait in the modern-looking waiting room of Beckley Ward Medical Practice. Jones is sitting across from me looking at something on his phone, paying no attention to the looks he's receiving from some of the patients who have been staring at the two of us since we came in and sat down. Even the young receptionists did a double-take when they saw me come in but they were quick to stop staring when they heard my name. Clearly, dropping Luca's name into the conversation as to who made the appointment makes everyone in here think twice before saying something to you.

"Kaylee Fletcher," a female calls.

Jones looks up from his screen at the sound of my name being called. He gives me a swift nod then looks back to his phone. I get to my feet and walk to the red-headed female standing at the doorway smiling at me.

"Miss. Fletcher," she starts, holding a hand out to me, "I'm Dr. Ward."

I shake her hand and we walk down the bright corridor to her office, her name clearly written on a plaque on the dark wooden door. I take a seat opposite her and sit my bag on the floor at my feet.

"Now, I am under the impression from your fiancé that you were in a car accident on Friday night back in London?" She starts, slipping her reading glasses on to read through the notes she has on me in front of her.

"Yes, that's right." I confirm.

"Were you advised to see a physician here in New York when you got here?"

"Only when my doctor called me earlier today to give me my test results from the tests that were taken at the hospital," I tell her.

"And what were they?" She lifts the nearest pen and waits patiently for my answer.

If I wasn't already nervous, I am now. Up until this point, there are only two other people who know of my news and I haven't said it out loud for myself to believe that it's true. My doctor back home said I was pregnant but I didn't believe her. Giles noticed and said I was which I confirmed it to him but I didn't say the words myself.

Now Luca's doctor is staring at me with her green eyes unmoving waiting for me to give her the news I've yet to confirm to myself.

"I-" I start but I can't say the words.

I look down at my hands.

I can't do it.

"Kaylee, it doesn't matter what you tell me. I can't tell your fiancé unless you tell me to." She promises. "You can tell me anything in here and it goes no further because-"

"I'm pregnant," I suddenly blurt out. I look back at her. "That's what my doctor told me."

"I see." She nods. She notes my news down then smiles. "You don't believe the news, do you?"

I shake my head.

"Is it fear? Worry? Uncertainty? Or all of the above?"

"All of the above," I answer quietly.

She slides her glasses off and stands back up. "Kaylee, if you don't mind, I'd like to run some tests that will give us the results here today then we can look into the possibility of a scan to give you some peace of mind. Maybe even able for you to share the news with your fiancé."

"Alright."

Three tests. Three different tests Dr. Ward carried out to confirm my pregnancy and that's not including the questions she asked that also confirmed the news that I've been in denial about. All the tests have come back as positive signs of pregnancy but I don't know how far along I am just yet. Even during the ultrasound, I couldn't bring myself to look at the screen to see the baby. I couldn't do it because I'm scared.