Brooklyn

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Outside, everything is calm. The heat has eased and the night sky is bright with thousands of city lights from balcony of the fortieth floor. A gentle breeze lifts my hair, and although it seemed earlier that I would never be cold again, I shiver.

Maybe it's out of nerves; Harry is gorgeous, standing next to me in his tux with a loosened tie.

The beat of the music thumps through the windows; it's all I can hear as I stand with my hand on the railing, overlooking a city I miss more than I could have imagined.

"Just like Paris again," I manage.

"Except with a view of Citizens Bank Ballpark," he smirks. "They're playing tonight, you know,"

"Of course I know," I smile, thankful he's easing the tension with something I'm always glad to talk about.

Baseball and a pint of beer started this whole thing. So simple.

"I'd go back to that night in Paris, if I could," he starts. "I'd leave out the Sophie medical stuff and just jump to the part where I knew I loved you. I would remind myself that, every time we fought. I would be more patient and understanding and way less of an asshole,"

He turns toward me, and I continue to stare forward at the city lights. This moment is huge, and I owe myself time to take it in with a clear head.

"I loved you through it, you know. The bad stuff," he continues. "I didn't show it. It destroyed me, Brooklyn. I was so angry and so hurt that I shut down. I kicked you out. But I never stopped loving you, through any of it,"

My heart is pounding.

"Say something. Anything," he pleads. "Tell me I haven't imagined the last few weeks,"

I turn toward him.

"I feel like ten thousand apologies still wouldn't be enough," I tell him. "And like I'm going to carry this guilt for the rest of my life, even though I honestly just went off an inkling. I can't take it back. I can't go back and not date Nick, and not be so desperate for money that I turned to surrogacy. I can't and I wouldn't change having Sophie for anything," I smile. "Instead of being afraid you'd think I was crazy for thinking I might be her biological mother, I should've trusted you would support the decision to be tested and appreciate my honesty. Hindsight is 20/20 and all that,"

"If I had to do it again, I would beg you to stay," he admits, and I finally turn to face him. "I would tell you that I never want you to apologize again. That it's over, and that I'm not the type of person to bring it up in a decade. It's dead. That this is whole thing is amazing," he smiles. "That of all the people in Philly for me to buy a beer from that day, it was you. Of all the women in the world to fall in love with, it was you. Not just Sophie's biological mom. But you,"

My eyes fill with tears. I knew we would one day talk about it all; I just didn't expect it to be in a public place where I'd have to hold it together. I also didn't expect him to take so much of the blame.

He continues, and I pull myself out of my head long enough to process what it means.

"And that I'm sorry I let so much time pass. Time did nothing but show me what I'd chosen was wrong. I just hope you're willing to give me another chance to show you how much you to mean to me. How much our life together and our family means. I won't hurt you that way again. That's what I've been trying to tell you since I was in Concord. That's what I've been working through in my head for the last several months,"

He has so much to say, and it's falling out of his mouth so easily. I can't begin to formulate the words I want to say in return,

"I know I'm taking a wrecking ball to your life by saying all of this. I know you have a job and a home and Ty," he stops. "But I gotta be selfish about this, because it might be the last chance I get,"

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