🕷Along Came A Spider🕷

Chapter 19

(Jenna's POV)

I skipped dinner, feigning a headache, although Ursula brought me up a snack and two aspirin.

Other than that, I sat in my room all night, just thinking things through.

Overthinking is probably more like it...

Needless to say, I barely got any sleep, but since I've arrived here, that's pretty much been the norm, with the exception of the night that Nik stayed in my room and told me a story.

That was the best night sleep I ever had, to be honest.

I don't know why, but he makes me feel safe...but at the same time, he makes me feel out of control and so very confused.

I just don't know how to deal with all of these conflicting emotions.

I wish I'd had a boyfriend or two before I came here...some kind of experience, then maybe I wouldn't feel so lost.

I wish my mom was still alive – not just because I need her now...need to talk to her, because I'll always need her...miss her, but she was such a great person to talk to – the kind you could tell anything to.

I feel the same about Aimee, but...there are certain things I'm embarrassed to tell her sometimes.

She always was and still is the popular one – the one that all the boys...and even a few girls liked. 

She told me that if I wasn't so shy, I could've been popular too, but I didn't have the clothes and stuff that she did.

Don't get me wrong...I had friends, mostly through Aimee though, and boys asked me out too, but...I just never felt confident like she did and still does.

If Aimee were here instead of me, she'd already have Nik eating out of the palm of her hand.

And for some strange reason, just the very thought of that makes me angry...makes me not like Aimee.

See what I mean? I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me!

Anyway...I've spoken to Nik as little as possible again today – all through breakfast up until now, which makes me feel like complete and utter shit.

He's been gracious and kind as usual, giving me my space, but I can tell that he's just as confused as I am...or at least I think he is.

How I wish I knew how to read people better...

But hopefully, once I talk to Aimee, I'll have a better perspective on things.

We arrived at his other mill which is just as nice as the other one, but is a bit larger.

My mind is still working overtime as I try to stay focused on these invoices...while feeling Nik's eyes on me, despite the fact that I hear him pecking away at yet another antique typewriter of his.