Body and Soul: The Endgame Fix

Part 2: Cold Dreams

Summary: What happened to the real Natasha Romanoff.

Notes: From Natasha's point of view, starting on Friday, July 6, 2018, seven weeks after the Snap and almost four weeks since the Avengers killed Thanos on Titan II, "the Garden."

The last thing she remembered was Steve forgetting his gate passcode and having to be let in. He'd just moved out of the Avengers Compound to set up his apartment down in New York City, well, Brooklyn, and he said he'd lost his cheat sheet. She'd buzzed him in and continued with her planning session as Okoye argued to form a policing consortium to function independently from the World Council. They'd discussed it for another half hour before ending the video conference call. She should have known it wasn't Steve when she found him puttering around the kitchen, fixing her tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich. She'd been impressed he'd learned how to open a can and apply heat without burning the place down. They'd sat down across from each other at the kitchen table and chatted about what he was doing with setting up the survivors' support group and getting the apartment furnished. She'd dipped her sandwich in the soup, and he'd thought that was cute. She'd taken two more bites and realized something was wrong when her vision blurred, and she couldn't keep her head up. Steve had eased her out of the chair and onto the floor, but when she looked up and tried to focus, Natasha had seen her own face leaning over her.

The dreams never seemed to end. They weren't all the same, but there were certain ones that seemed to be a variation on a theme. The interrogation ones were her favorites. In the old ones, she was in a chair and some pompous general was giving her all kinds of details about his operation or she'd collared some jerk who needed to be threatened into doing the smart thing. At other times, she was the secret interrogator probing her mark for information or manipulating him to do what they wanted. There was this one guy she'd been assigned to after Fury pulled her off Coulson's team. He was a scientist. Pleasantly easy on the eyes and incredibly smart. Not just book smart either. The guy had a knack for making it across borders undetected and disappearing for months before anyone could catch up to him. He'd given S.H.I.E.L.D. the slip twice—once in Egypt and then in Vancouver—before she caught up with him in Windsor and followed him across the border into Detroit. She'd felt a connection to him the moment she read his file. He wanted to be good and balance out the harm he felt he'd done. He scared her shitless once, but he made her happy, too. Where was he? Why couldn't she focus? Had he left her again? Take me with you. Please take me with you!

The new dreams always involved someone asking her questions or telling her to remember details about people or places. She didn't have to speak. All the person asked her to do was think about the answer or the memories. She imagined she was looking at herself, but upside down a few times, but man, her hair looked like shit. "Tell me what you think of him," the other her had demanded and pointed to a monitor with a picture of someone she loved.

"I miss him. We were going to leave together, but he thought he needed to protect me, so he left by himself. Then he just came back. We worked it out. We just needed a little space to know what we meant to each other. We held hands almost the whole way to Wakanda, and neither of us could quite quit smiling. We held each other the whole way back after we failed. We both survived. We just needed a little more time together. He's a good person. His kisses are so incredible. He loves me. He'll be back from Virginia Monday. We were going to make plans."

"Shit." There was a long pause. "He meant something really important to you. I suppose that's why I'm here."

For some reason, it felt like her heart was in her throat, and she sobbed, "Bruce and I are leaving together. I made him Hulk out on purpose, but he said he understood. He forgave me." The cold feeling crept up on her. "Where is he? I want to see him."