Sunflower post-it's

Chapter two

If it were possible for me to hate Kenya at that moment I probably would have but how could I hate my dead best friend ?

Looking at her dead body on that table and remembering that she promised she'd be back. That stupid post-it note filled me with hope , fake hope I now realize.
I turned to Detective Winston , he struggled to meet my eye ,that was okay because I didn't want to see the truth in his eyes , I wanted to see it in Kenya's eyes.
"Uhm...Detective... can I-...' I swallowed the lump down trying to make my voice steady. '... can I have a closer look? "

He looked at me and I could tell he wouldn't have it. I opened my mouth to protest but he bet me too it -
"Miss Lockwood , I don't think that would be very wise the body has already started its decomposition and the smell is enough too ..." I cut in without letting him finish.
" Her eyes. I need to see her eyes " I mumbled my voice laced with desperation.
"Surely you've seen enough to make a correct identification Miss , there is no need to go into that room " he nudged his head in the direction of the window displaying the white room.

Taking a deep breath to ease the beating of my heart and to keep my voice level
" With all due respect Detective Winston , that is supposedly my best friend and I wouldn't want to make a mistake and cause her family more pain than is needed. If I see her eyes I'll know for sure that it's her otherwise I can not tell right now. Her body is pretty bad and ..." a sob interrupted me and I had to turn away from the Detective to compose myself.

Luckily , Detective Winston seemed to understand and he handed me a hospital mask , I put it on silently and he then gestured for me to enter into the next room through a door beside the glass window.

Three things happened simultaneously.
One ,the smell of death and decay mixed with bleach hit me , this mask wasn't helping much. Obviously there were more bodies here.
Two , the brightness of the lights momentary blinded me , I had not realized that the glass window separating the two rooms was tinted and that from the previous room every thing appeared dim.
Three , my heart beat sped up and slowed down with each timid step I took towards the table. Dreading what I was doing.

On closer inspection I could see that the stained skin was burnt in some places and the smell of charred flesh lingered. Otherwise , it seemed nature had taken its course with the decomposition. Which led me to wonder where she'd been found and why she was burnt. An autopsy hadn't been done yet. It was to take place if I identified the body as Kenya's.

I stood to the left of the table , slowly making my way from her toes to her face. I refused to let my eyes process the damage , because if they did my brain would lock away the images for a later date to haunt me. My eyes crept up her body, which was covered only around the midsection and finally my eyes  landed on her face.

Oh god , this had been a stupid idea to begin with , I yelled in my head. Why had I asked to take a closer look?

The moment I made contact with her eyes they held mine to them. I hadn't expected her eyes to be wide open. Not allowing my gaze to waver , I was stuck , stone still , transfixed at the sight before me.

Those eyes ...

Without a doubt in my mind those were Kenya's eyes. Jade , with specks of gold and rimmed with navy blue. I'd always been jealous of her eyes. They had their own glow and I swear the gold seemed to swim around her irises as she spoke and it grew more vibrant when she laughed.

Now the gold remained steady ,the jade faded to the color of a dirty dollar bill. Her eyes didn't seem to laugh or have a life of their own. They just looked normal , plain. Two words I had never used to describe Kenya.

•••

Once I had left the room I identified the body as positive , an autopsy would be done. Cause of death determined. All this whirled around in my head. Detective Winston ensured me he'd make the family aware that she had been found.

I left the police station with an ache in my gut and a cold heart. I had no destination in mind when I'd started driving , I just knew I had to drive. Drive far and drive fast. The wind and rain attacked from all angles but I didn't care. I guess at some point while driving I spaced out and lost control of the steering wheel. Leading me into the lane for oncoming traffic.

I quickly took told of the wheel once again and turned back into my lane and onto the side of the road. My vision was abstracted by tears , I panted as though I'd just ran a marathon. Was this a panic attack ? Or was I just overreacting?

Sitting up straighter I took ten deep breaths to calm down , I then closed all the windows shutting the rain outside where it should have been all along.

My clothes were drenched by this point and If I didn't change I'd get sick for sure. I reached over into the back seat of my Jeep , I always kept a sweatshirt in my car and my gym bag was also on the back seat. Great , I thought I have a towel in there. Drying off and putting the sweatshirt on I felt slightly better , willing my body to warm up I cranked up the heat.

The only sound I could hear was the rain hitting violently against the windows of the car. Along with my pathetic swallow breathing.
"Fuck! Lola , pull it together !" I said aloud to myself. I pulled my hand out of the pocket of the sweatshirt and along with my hand came a yellow piece of paper. It was small and folded in half , a post-it note I immediately knew , I slowly unfolded it to read the short message written -

Lola

I know what you're thinking but you just have to trust me on this. Not everything is as it seems.

-K

•••
The first FIVE chapters will be uploaded during this month , their basically just the foundation of the story && may seem boring but they'll be very important later on.
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