feels

my dreams/ nightmares pt. 3

ok so some background info, i had a toxic boyfriend about a year ago, and it wasn't pretty.

my mother took me to get my iron level in my blood checked because i was throwing up and i was really pale. once the doctors came back they yelled, "congratulations!" 

my mom and i looked at them, confused, "you're pregnant."

the car ride home was mostly silent. i suddenly burst into tears, "no no i can't have this baby! i can't!" "honey, you have to, it's your responsibility now.. shush it's ok." she said while hugging me. 

the next day i went to the park with my close friends, with a doctor by my side. "would you like to tell them the reason why you've been so sick and not at school?" 

i stared at him then hesitantly spoke, "i-i'm pregnant. and it's toxic bf's baby..." i lifted my oversized shirt and turned to the side to show my bump and i pulled out ultrasound photos. surprisingly, all of my friends were supportive, they hugged me and congratulated me, confirming i would be a great mother. 

but my toxic bf wasn't saying anything. i turned to him. he looked at me coldly. he then pulled me into a hug, holding one hand at my back, and one at my stomach. "i will be here. i promise."

and then i woke up.

i swear i have a fear of this shit cause i've had ones where someone in my life is pregnant. but these dreams are genuinely real. unlike most people i remember most of my dreams, and some are too personal for me to discuss. but i hope you enjoyed? haha