𝐀𝐪𝐮𝐚 𝐄𝐲𝐞𝐬 ✓

38

Four Years Ago

"What are you doing now?" I ask, laying on my stomach on top of my comforter with my feet bent in the air, smiling to myself.

"Nothing much, just enjoying your voice," He says through the phone and I bite my lip, smiling even wider now. Elijah's attention makes me feel so loved, and just hearing his voice over the phone is enough to give me butterflies. I still can hardly believe that out of anyone, he chose me to be with.

"I like your voice too," I murmur, suddenly shy now. Elijah makes me so nervous, and I always worry that I'll say something to make him remember how much younger I am, how much more I have to learn. Elijah should be with an older, confident girl, but he picked me so I won't be the one to remind him. My phone vibrates against my face and I pull it away to look at the screen to see a text from Lexi, still listening to Elijah's breathing.

Hey, come over after dance tomorrow?

Yeah, see you then

I reply and focus back on my call, ignoring the guilty pang I feel when I think about my best friend Lexi and how she plays into this whole relationship. What would she say if she found out?

"Faye, I really like you," Elijah tells me, not for the first time, and it makes my heart soar. I feel lightheaded and turn over to lay on my back and look up at the ceiling, sighing. He is constantly reassuring me of his feelings for me, and I curse myself for even feeling slightly apprehensive about us.

This is so right.

I know that if anyone knew, it could be bad for both of us, but especially for him so I, of course, agreed to keep us a secret. Elijah is completely justified to ask that of me, and I'm just lucky that I even have the opportunity to be with a guy like him. He's so out of my league.

"I really really like you, Elijah. I'm so glad that we're finally—"

"Hey listen, I gotta go. I'll see you. Remember what I said okay, no matter what?" Elijah cuts me off and I nod even though he can't see me, clutching my phone to my ear tightly.

"Bye Eli," I whisper and I hear the phone call stop. I look at the screen smiling, confirming that it all wasn't a dream, but I see his name and the time we were on the phone together. I swoon, unable to believe that my dreams are now my reality.

I slept well that night, oblivious to what would come next.

The next day, I wake up refreshed and make myself a healthy breakfast to give me energy for my dance class. I dance around the kitchen wistfully, enjoying the empty house for a bit longer, knowing that my family is out for the day, thinking about what I usually think about as I get ready. Elijah Thompson.

I shower, brush my teeth, and get dressed in my leotard and tights. Lastly, I dry my red hair and pull it back into a tight ballerina bun on top of my head to keep it out of my face and away from the inspection of my strict ballet teacher.

I grab my pointe shoes and put them in my bag, slipping on a pair of shoes and locking the door to my house behind me as I begin the short walk to the studio. Summertime in my hometown is always dry and hot, and I love the feeling of the sun beating down on my skin as I enjoy my walk.

The studio is halfway full with the other girls from my class, and I greet them as we put on our shoes and warm-up. My teacher gives us instructions and yells at us when we don't execute our moves perfectly, so I work hard to make my routine flawless. When she says nothing as she passes by me, I have to work hard to not show my smile.

When ballet is over, I put my shoes back on, sling my bag over my shoulder, say goodbye to some of the girls, and walk to my best friend's house. I accidentally left my phone at home, but Lexi knows that I'm coming over, so I go straight there after dance. My heart beats fast, knowing that he will be there as well.

Elijah just so happens to be my best friend's older brother, and when I promised him not to tell anyone, Lexi was included in the generalization. I feel guilty whenever I think about it, but I know that she'll accept it one day when she realizes how important it is to me, and how happy I am with him.

I approach Lexi's familiar house, massive and grand, but something seems off about it today. Typing in the code to the gate that her parents would skin me alive for knowing, I walk through once it opens for me. I walk past their cars lining their driveway and up to the front door, which is open. Unusual.

Instead of knocking, I push open the door wider and step in, listening for the usual quiet of the large house, but I hear sobbing coming from the kitchen. I walk in that direction and what greets me is so out of the ordinary, my eyes widen and I gasp.

Lexi's mother sits on a dining room chair, holding a piece of paper and crying while her father uncomfortably rubs her back with his rough hand. Lexi stands off to the side, tears running down her face, and Tatiana, Lexi's twin sister cries silently as well, trying to wipe her tears so that her father doesn't see.

Lexi notices me and rushes to me, clinging to my body for comfort and I immediately hug her back, trying to console her for whatever reason caused her to cry. Lexi rarely cries, Tatiana has probably never cried in her life, and if Lexi's mother ever cries, it wouldn't be in front of her husband or children.

"Eli," she gasps out, wiping her tears as her family continues to ignore my presence as usual. My heart constricts and my mind jumps to the worst scenario. I feel tears prickling my own eyes and Lexi sees this, shaking her head and correcting herself.

"No, he's okay, but...he's gone." She manages to say and tries to take a deep breath to continue on. I stop breathing.

"He left a note. He's gone and joined the military. He didn't say why. He just...left in the middle of the night," I can't breathe. I'm torn between feeling sorry for Lexi and her family, and feeling guilty for keeping my secret at this time.

Is this my fault?