signed, s. eijun

34 . 75

.

after dinner, Nozomi went to Eijun's dorm and asked if he wanted to go on a walk with her.

"sure! let me put on a sweater and we can go!" he hurried around the dorm, grabbing a sweater quickly. Nozomi waved to Kuramochi and Asada before Eijun closed the door behind him and they started on their way.

they ended up walking around the baseball diamond. but Nozomi brought them to sit in the dugout.

"is there something on your mind?" Eijun asked Nozomi. she was silent for a moment.

"uh, yeah. there is," she said, looking down at her lap.

"well, i'm all ears! take your time," he said.

"oh jeez, how do i start this?" she mumbled to herself, trying to straighten out her thoughts. "okay. so, i guess i just have a little problem with your teammates.

"they're still wonderful people! don't get me wrong, i still like them. its just. . some, not all, but some of them are stingy towards you. you've improved so much, but sometimes it seems like they don't notice or don't care. the game against Ichidai Sankou is a perfect example." Eijun stared at her, processing everything she was saying.

"if it had been you instead of Furuya pitching that badly, you would have been pulled from the game just like that. and although he is a great coach, Coach Kataoka doesn't treat you fairly sometimes and it just bugs me. sorry for just springing this onto you so suddenly." she looked up at him, trying to decipher what expression he had on his face.

"it's okay, Nozomi. what kind of friend would i be if i didn't listen to what troubled you?" he asked lightly, forcing out a laugh. "but. . i don't really think i'm treated unfairly. i was a thoughtless, rowdy first year, and i'm only just getting better."

"Eijun, i'm sorry, but that's a load of bullshit." Eijun was in shock. this is the first time he's heard her swear. "yes, you were a rowdy first year. but you've grown so much. now more than ever, i can see you wearing the ace number on your back. and others need to give you the praise you deserve because i know they can see it too," she said.

"Nozomi. . ." he started. "i don't think that at all! i've gotten everything i deserve. the good and the bad. they certainly don't hold back with the bad. ." his voice trailed off, as if he wasn't sure if he should have said that.

"they insult you?" she asked, surprised. her fists clenched in her lap. although she wouldn't physically fight them, she would most certainly give them a very stern talking to.

"no! well, most don't. it's just, some do. not like it matters. it doesn't really get to me!" he tried to remain happy, but his face was dropping and he was struggling to keep a smile on his face, Nozomi could tell.

"it doesn't really get to you. but some of it does, doesn't it?" she asked softly. "Eijun, you know that whatever they say isn't true, right?"

"it kinda is, though," he said softly. "they said that i'm never gonna be the ace as long as Furuya is here. that i'll forever be in his shadow. and i agree. he's just a great pitcher, you know? who could beat him?"

"you could," she said seriously. "i don't want to ever hear you put yourself down again, you hear? never. you are a fantastic pitcher and nothing and no one can change that. it just sucks that your team thinks you don't deserve all the praise in the world - which you do."

he frowned, and it looked so unnatural on his face.

"hey, don't talk badly about my team," he said. "they're all great, even if they don't praise me all the time. a lot of the time i don't even deserve praise."

"Eijun, i don't dislike your team! i never said that. all i said is that some of them are stingy with praise you clearly deserve." she looked him in the eyes, but they weren't warm. they were distant and Nozomi wondered where she went wrong.

this wasn't supposed to go wrong. she was supposed to voice her worries and they'd move on. she doesn't want to come in between Eijun and his team. that's the last thing she wants.

"it sorta sounds like you're saying you dislike them," he muttered.

"Eijun, how many times do i have to tell you? they are still good people. that hasn't changed. i just dislike how they treat you sometimes. you're one of the best pitchers i know! you deserve just as much praise as Furuya and Kawakami-senpai and they deserve just as much praise as you. but it seems like they kinda forget about praising you, and i just wish they didn't!" Nozomi took a deep breath, relaxing her clenched fists. "you deserve so much."

"one of the best pitchers you know?" he echoed. "i make so many mistakes in every game i play! you're just saying that because you're my friend!"

"i am not!" she retorted, crossing her arms.

"what do you know about baseball anyway?" he exclaimed, frustrated.

she paused, mouth opening, before closing. what did she know about baseball? she didn't know jack. she had tried to know stuff, just for him. but he threw that in her face even though she was trying. wasn't that all she could do? try?

"you know, you're right Eijun. what do i know about baseball?" she asked gently. "i tried to understand what you were talking about when it came to pitch calling, but it just didn't click for me. i'm sorry."

his frown deepened. "no, Nozomi. you don't have to apologize. i just. ." he sighed. "i don't know. i don't know why you think my teammates are stingy with their praise. if they don't praise me, i don't deserve it. it's just that simple." and even though he said those words seriously, they seemed to leave a bitter aftertaste in his mouth.

"right," she agreed, standing up. "you're totally right. sorry for arguing." she
shoved her hands into her pockets to try and stop them from shaking. she started walking away from the dugout and Eijun rushed to catch up.

"Nozomi wait-" he reached out a hand to her shoulder but she shook it off.

"sorry, Eijun. i just want to be alone right now." she turned to give him a sad smile before continuing walking. "goodnight."

"g. . goodnight," he whispered to her retreating figure. but she didn't turn around.

-------------

hey y'all. this is a little shitty, especially the last third of it, but its late and im tired but i wanted to get this out. im sorry if what they were saying at the end doesnt make much sense. i didnt even know what i was typing at that point. i was just hoping it flowed.

anyway, that is that! the next chapter will be up hopefully tomorrow or the day after, it just depends on what we have planned.

i will see you soon! :D