Expectations of Jru

6: Hello Georgia

(Aria Duval & Jru Anderson)

It was a struggle being a single parent and this could be said for anyone, whether mother or father. Raising a whole human being on your own, planned or not, could take a toll on anyone and that's what people failed to inform or be aware of. This wasn't in any way, shape or form a walk in the park. From the moment that baby was able to breathe your life changed. It was hard but it was worth it however it wasn't for everybody.

Being a parent was more than being physically present. You had to be there mentally, emotionally, a teacher, a protector. You had to be willing to sacrifice and be able to adapt to the changes that came along with putting someone else before yourself.

I never expected to be a parent and I definitely never planned on being a single one at that however life tended to play tricks and throw curve balls at you. If it was up to me, I wouldn't be doing this on my own because if I'm being real, shit gets tough and sometimes I just want to break down and there are times when I actually do however I try to do it when Aria isn't around. There's moments when I want to just give up and let go but I remind myself that I have a innocent child in the mix who didn't ask to be here and I can't just leave her hanging to fend for herself in this evil ass corrupted world that we live in. Her father can't be here but I try my hardest and show her in the best way that I can that she can always depend on me if no one else.

Aria, as smart as she is, doesn't understand why her father can't be around or why when she visits him, she can only see him through a glass. She's never been able to hug her dad, place gentle kisses on his face or even just granted a simple touch. To me, it's worse than death. Having someone so close to you yet unfortunately not close enough. When someone dies, it's already set in your mind you'd never get to touch them, hear their voice, see their face but while behind bars, it's time that we face. The moment he's released, the moment they are able to embrace, the moment that we have all longed for, yes even me.

There was nothing more that I wanted for my daughter than to be able to do what all other little girls with present father's were able to do. I knew in my heart that she'd be a true daddy's girl. Her father, Gunner, would never let her go without. He'd be the best father he could be and I knew that wholeheartedly. I just couldn't wait for him to be able to step foot in those shoes and be here on the outside.

Staring at my baby girl I prayed so hard that tears fell from my eyes. I craved a peace of mind. I wanted so bad for our lives to get better, to gain some type of normalcy. Who wanted to be the type of parent that always had to tell their child 'no they couldn't have something because they couldn't afford it'?Who wanted to have to sit their child down time and time again, to try to explain why they couldn't see their other parent? And lastly, who wanted to be that parent that had to take her child away from the only family she's ever known?

"You're doing the right thing," Gianna Duval, the sister of my child's father and one of my closest friends, attempted to reassure me.