Preciously unwanted.

CHAPTER ONE.

The past couple of weeks had been absolute hell for me. At first, my period stopped. I have always had a stable period, so this was a major red flag. I wanted to go and see a doctor about it, but something inside me stopped me. I was too scared to know the reason why my period had delayed.

''Sara,  Jeffery and I are going to watch  a movie. Come along, it will be fun'' Mavis, my friend who was a year younger than me sent me a text.

''I don't feel too good today. Maybe next time'' I replied.

I hadn't been feeling good for two weeks now, I was always dizzy and I was throwing up A LOT! Also, for some strange reason, I hated chocolate chip cookies and hot dogs, I loved those snacks so much, but now, the sight of them disgusted me. However, I had the desire to eat broccoli sprinkled with sauce and fried eggs with honey and berries on top. And these past two weeks, my head had been throbbing. The headaches were killing me, and I felt tired no matter what I did. I had cancelled plans with so many friends because my health was just deteriorating. I tried to take painkillers, but those things were as helpful as saying 'i hope you get better' to an open wound. Mom and dad as well as grandma were both terribly worried about me, and even suggested I go to a hospital, I managed to convince  them that I had the flu and after taking medicine, I would be fine, but of course, that was a lie. Flu medicine didn't help, so I started getting worried. 

I was also constipating constantly, and I honestly got sick and tired  of it. I decided to go see a doctor about it.  I was pretty sure I had a fever or something. I told my parents I would be stepping out to get some painkillers, and asked that no one come with me. Luckily, to my relief, they all agreed. I was scared that I had some serious sickness, so as I got a taxi to go to the local clinic in our area, I started praying to GOD, that it was nothing serious and I was just over reacting or something. 

I arrived at the clinic and asked  to see Doctor Whyte. She was a middle aged woman with gray eyes and brown hair. She and my parents were good friends and she also knew me quite well, so I knew I could trust her. I was nervous as I sat in the waiting room for my turn to see her. 

''Ms. Ardson'' the nurse said, and I looked up from the floor. I got up and was about to turn the silver door knob, when I started feeling dizzy, I could feel the whole room begin to spin, and before I knew it, I fell to the floor, and everything went black. 

When I opened my eyes, I was lying on a small, thin bed that was leaning against the wall with soft, white sheets. I slowly got up to look at Dr. Whyte smiling at me.

''Oh, you're finally awake, are you?'' she run her hand around my thigh in a circle and I flinched.

''I can see you can still feel. Tell me, how are you feeling?'' she sat opposite me on a stool and looked up at me.

''Um, not very well. C-can I have a g-glass of water, p-please?'' I stuttered. She passed me a plastic cup of cold water and I drank it up. I gave it back to her and she put the cup down.

''I came to you because, I've been feeling very sick lately. Vomiting, feeling dizzy, losing my appetite,  craving weird foods and feeling tired all the time.'' I said as I sat up in the bed and leaned my head against the wall.

Dr. Whyte laughed, but then, her tone got serious and she stared at me with bloodshot eyes.

''Tell me dear, are you a virgin?'' she asked and my face clenched. Of course I was a virgin, but then my mind went to Milly's party, and I felt a lump in my throat.

''N-no. I lost my virginity to my boyfriend'' I said, looking down. I hadn't even talked to Jason about what we had done that night, so you can only imagine how awkward it was for me to talk to the doctor about it.

''Hmm. Sara, dear, although I haven't done all the necessary tests, I am very confident, that you're pregnant'' Doctor Whyte said to me.

I still remember that day like it was yesterday. The news hit me like a ton of bricks. I just sat there, my jaw wide open, staring at the doctor. What was she saying? How could I be pregnant? Me? I knew nothing about parent hood, it couldn't be possible. Eighteen-year-olds are supposed to think about getting accepted into College and moving out of their parent's house and learning to fend for themselves, not feeding their newborn or changing their diaper! There had to be some kind of mistake, there just had to. No.

''Dr, there has to be a mistake. I-I can't be pregnant'' I could barely get the words out of my mouth. When I was coming here, I had thought about so many other sicknesses, but never pregnancy.

''I can understand why you're in shock. Of course, your'e too early into the pregnancy to do an ultrasound, but you are pregnant, I'm sure'' the doctor said, and my brain raced.

''It's not possible it-it can be. No, I don't believe it'' I said, more to myself than to her.

''You have two options: Either I do some tests, or you can go buy a pregnancy test in the pharmacy'' she told me. I decided to go for the pregnancy test,  because the tests would cause money, and money, I did not have.

''I'll go to the pharmacy, doctor'' I whispered. She nodded and watched as I got up. I hailed a taxi and went to the pharmacy not far from the clinic. The clinic also had a pharmacy, but I decided to go to another pharmacy, so I could have time to calm myself down. 

I wasn't ready for a kid. How would I go to College and study law if I had to stay home and take care of a baby? What if my family rejected me? And then Jason also refused to take responsibility. Then, what at all would I do? I felt my eyes wet with tears and I begged God that this was just a silly mistake of the doctor's and I wasn't pregnant. As the taxi parked in the pharmacy, I slowly gave the driver most of the money I had left, and with a very heavy heart, I entered the pharmacy. I looked around for the pregnancy test. I soon found it, and walked towards it silently. I took it with my hand shaking, and went to the female pharmacist, praying she wouldn't ask me any questions. But she didn't. She just looked up from her phone and scanned the pregnancy test. She took the last of my money, and stuffed it in the cash register.

''Where's the bathroom, please?'' I asked in a shaky voice.

''Down there'' she said, in an indifferent voice, pointing to the door at the back of the pharmacy. Thanking her, I walked to the bathroom, and went left, where the lady's bathroom was. I felt so nervous and my stomach churned as I opened the door to one of the stalls.

''You're not pregnant, Sara. Once you take this pregnancy test, you're free to go'' I told myself as I slowly closed the toilet seat and sat down. My heart was pounding. My life depended on this, the test had to be negative, or I didn't know what I'd do.

I felt like I was gonna have a panic attack, but by some miracle, I didn't. I read the instructions at the back, and slowly followed the steps. After I had peed, I brought the pregnancy test up to my face with a very shaky hand. I waited silently for the results. 

My heart dropped as I saw the two faint lines appear on the screen. One line meant I wasn't pregnant, but two lines, meant I was. So, that means the doctor wasn't lying. I was pregnant. I dropped the pregnancy test in shock and I just stared at it. How could this be possible? How could I have a baby, and I hadn't even started College, what on earth was I gonna do? The perfect life I had planned for myself, the beautiful vision of how excellently my life would play out, the amazing dream I hoped would turn into a reality, came crashing down in front of my eyes, all because of a crazy night. I think it's unfair how your life could be going so well, and then one simple mistake could ruin it all. The feeling is overwhelming, it's horrible, it's heart stabbing, I felt all those three feelings as I sat there on the closed toilet seat in the pharmacy, staring at the used pregnancy test on the floor.

Realizing horrible truths is always painful, but this horrible truth and this horrible day took pain to a whole new level. What does a horrible truth have to do with this horrible day?

On that day, I realized the most horrible truth in the entire universe: MY LIFE WAS OFFICIALLY OVER!