Her Obsession

The Past

Believe it or not, long ago, Jake, Ashley, and I were very close friends.

Way back in Kindergarten, we were all very close. But Ashley always seemed to compete with me for Jake's attention.

I would be sitting at a little, plastic table, telling Jake about something that I did, when Ashley would walk up, tell him about her new iPhone, and pull him away to go look at it.

Back in sixth grade, they started dating. I was so jealous. I had a crush on him even then. I asked him about it, and he said these exact words:

"I just can't stay away from her. She's so hot, and she doesn't even realize it."

I made up my mind that I needed to be hot to win him over.

That night, I cracked open my dad's safe, and took out two hundred dollar bills. I begged my sister to take me shopping, and she did. She didn't even question where I got the money from, she just dropped me off at the mall.

I went shopping at H&M, Hot Topic, and other teen stores. When I was finished, my sister drove my home, I stuffed the remaining five dollars into my mattress, and I tried on my outfit:

A red, lacy bustier, tall, black boots, short black shorts, fishnet stockings, and black, diamond hair pins. I stared in the mirror, wearing the revealing clothes. It didn't seem to look as good as I thought it would. My chest was too flat, and my hips were too straight. But, I pinned up my hair, slid on my glasses, and smacked some of my sister's makeup on my face.

Grinning in the mirror, I knew that it would work.

I wore my ensemble to school the next day, but I was immediately dress-coded and given ugly, baggy sweatpants and a too-large green sweater to wear. Gross. I was laughed and and ridiculed all day. It was so embarrassing.

****

I assumed they would break up eventually, but they continued dating all through middle school. And through high school.

And now, in our junior year, their relationship is still as strong as ever. It disgusts and annoys me. I need Jake for myself. I need him.

I don't understand how Ashley is so pretty naturally. Sure, I've gone through puberty, my looks changed a lot, but I've never been as pretty as Ashley. Why am I cursed to be so average?!

I'm forced to suffer through every day of them kissing and hugging and cuddling. It sickens me. I need him. It's not even a choice anymore. I just...

I just need to see him to be happy.