<>nineteen<>

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Not even two months Yoongi got back to his state of being locked in his room again. Back to not eating, back to locking others out even his worried lover who basically had to beg for the male to open up which he never did. He didn't know what happened, he didn't know why his lover just randomly hid out of the blue once again.

Yoongi didn't want it to happen again, he didn't want to feel as if he needed to end his own life once again. Yes, he loved all the affection he was getting from the younger and from the other five. The older wanted his boyfriend to not worry but also wanted him to.

He never understood why was doubting himself or his lover. Maybe it was just his brain messing with him or that nobody really cared and they just pitted him, but like always he wasn't sure if they were or not. Namjoon, his lover was standing outside his door muttering for him to come out several times.

"baby, open the door, let me in so I can help.." He didn't get a response, then tried again nothing once again. "y-yoongi.. please.." the younger sighed to himself as he then felt a hand on his shoulder, he jumped quickly turning around "it's just me Hyung.." it was Jungkook giving a saddened look to the older.

"Sorry... I'm... I'm just worried about him.., he hasn't come out in three days." Namjoon looked back at the door and placed his hand on the lock knob. "I get that.., but.. have you ever thought of.." he let go of his shoulder leaning up to the frame of the door and grabbed a key. "this..?" his eyes widened "are you serious you didn't tell me this was here?" he huffed before he took it from him. "sorry..I haven't been here... I... I was with family..."

Namjoon's eyes widened before engulfed the younger into a hug and apologized. "It's not your fault..you've been stressing, now...go in there and help Hyung out.." he didn't get a response but a nod as he took the key and unlocked the door. "baby..?" he whispered shutting the door behind. "are you okay.." he didn't get much of a response but only a small whimper from the closet. His eyes widened as he rushed to the closet opening the door to see the small male shaking and he had blood dripping down his arms.

"holy shit Hyung!" he yelped reaching down and brought him into his arms. "you're okay..I've got you.." he mumbled placing him down on the edge of the tub. "sit here and I'm gonna clean you up.," he whispered as the male nodded tears streaming down his face.

The leader ran his hands through the cabinet as he tried to find the bandages which he did after forever of looking. He grabbed the peroxide and knelt in front of Yoongi holding a towel underneath his arm. "baby, this is gonna sting.. but it'll be quick." he spoke softly as he started to clean up the crying boy's bloody arms hearing hisses of pain.

"you're okay.."

"i-it hurts.." more tears streamed down his face.

"I know baby... I'm just gonna clean you up so it doesn't get infected."

He soon got his small lover's arms cleaned up and bandaged, then placing a kiss on his temple. "baby.. what happened? you don't need to tell me right this moment... just know that I love you so much and I am here to help you..." he said softly while Yoongi whimpered wiping away his tears.

"Joonie., I felt like.. like I was being pitted and being lied to as if none of you guys care, that you don't really love me, that I'm just this useless piece of garbage. My feelings don't matter and everything that is said to me is just said out of full pity... I understand you all want to help me but.. why does it feel so fake..?" he spoke quickly while he wrapped his arms around the younger's neck.

"oh, baby it's okay... I love you so much... d-don't think like that..." he hummed rubbing his back before he felt a sudden weight on his body. "Yoongi-Hyung?" no response. He looked and saw that the male had fallen asleep. He sighed standing up with him in his arms before he brought him to the bed laying down with him, placing a soft kiss on his forehead. "rest up angel"

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ADKSHL my apologies I've just been busy :|

wow I feel like shit lmfao lets just shoot myself ://

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