Hope.

• Chapter 15 •

• Tyler •

Being blind isn't the worst thing that could happen to you. For me, being blind hasn't been as much of an issue as I constantly complain it is. Of course, it sucks. Does a part of me want to see the world again? Hell yes.
But the sad part is, I can't do anything about it. Now it's been 5 years since I lost my vision completely.

Everyone in my family knows the date, it's officially been 5 whole years. But thankfully no one mentioned anything at home. I'm glad. I wasn't feeling like being pitied by my own family today.

I didn't go blind suddenly, every day my vision was getting worse until one day everything was gone.

At first, I felt relief. I didn't have to wait for the dreaded day any longer. Then it was a mixture of sadness and anger. The first half of the day was just pure anger at everyone. The second, was sadness. I cried for a long time until finally I couldn't anymore. Finally, I felt numb. I just felt so numb. I didn't go to school for a while week because I couldn't physically or mentally, do or feel anything.

The first week was a complete blur. I can barely remember anything that happened that week. It was like my brain blocked those memories.

After that, Stacy helped me a lot. I was fighting depression that had come over me since the day I found out I was going blind. I had panic attacks and there were really bad days where I considered taking my own life. And I tried once. But the blade just slipped past my hands and I could find it anymore.

I cried a lot that day. I felt pathetic for not even being able to kill my self. But now looking back at it, I'm happy I didn't do it. Somedays I wish I did but at the end, everyone just wants to survive.

Since I've been blind for so long I've learned to get used to it. Being me, I complain about it, a lot. But really, I know I could have had it worse. Even though, somedays telling that to myself doesn't really work.

Days like today. My 5-year mark.

Iris isn't at school today. And I feel like someone's watching me everywhere I go. I can feel their prickling gaze more than ever today.

Probably because today, I'm very much aware of the fact that I'm different from everyone else.

Iris not being here today makes it a whole lot worse. I need my best friend today.

I felt sick and I knew they sensed my nervousness. Because here I am, being surrounded by a bunch of guys, who want to hurt me for their own entertainment. Sickos. But today was different.

Ever since the first day of school not many people have picked on me physically. I think that's because of Iris. The verbal abuse never stopped but I can kinda handle that.

Today, however, as I said before, was different from the first day. They weren't picking on me for the sake of it and I could sense it. I also knew because Mike was the one leading group instead of Jordan. Mike—Iris' ex-boyfriend—the person who thinks I stole her from him. When the truth is he lost her himself.

Plus, I was pretty sure he had already moved on. But clearly, that wasn't the case.

"You little bastard," Mike sneered at me, prying my cane from my hand. I heard the sound of my cane being thrown, carelessly across the hallway causing me to flinch. "You thought you could take my girlfriend from me and just walk out of here?" Called it.