Hope.

• Chapter 31 •

• Tyler •

At first, I had thought that in some twisted way that liking Luca would ruin my life, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that this was of no significance at all. It wouldn't change my life, it wouldn't wreck my family, it wouldn't do anything. Being bisexual isn't that much of an issue to me compared to being blind. I knew I wasn't gay. I had crushes on girls before and the more I thought about it, I never really had too many friends who weren't female so I just never discovered the other part of me.

The revelations didn't come up randomly. When the two were compared I didn't mind the possibility of me being bisexual. It was weird and made feel utterly strange but somehow I learned to be okay with it over the past week. Yes, I had been ignoring Luca for the week as well, but I couldn't help it. Every time I saw him I felt weird, good weird, and it scared me at first. However, I've been coming to terms with it.

Am I ready to start waving the pride flag around school? No, absolutely not. But I've gotten to the point of accepting it. I can't change the way I feel, or at least that's what the hundred YouTube videos about the lgbtq+ community I watched had said.

I'm pretty sure bisexual. It was slightly harder for me to understand whether I was attracted to someone or not but of course, talking to the person helped.

I had also delved into the possibility where maybe I was jumping into conclusions, but after one painful week of being stuck inside my own head, I had decided that I did like Luca. More than just friends.

It still scares me slightly, but I think I'm okay with it.

I don't want to tell my family, yet. I just don't think I'm ready for that. But I wanted to tell Iris. If there was anyone I could trust, it was her.

So here I was, sitting alone in a small coffee shop tucked away at the corner of the street—where Luca had brought me to for the first time we properly hung out—waiting for a slightly late Iris.

I heard the little ring when the door opened and my head immediately shot up hoping it was Iris; the sound of her heels clicking loudly on the ground only confirmed my suspicion.

"Tyler, hi," she said, pecking me on the cheek before I heard her take a seat in front of me. "I'm sorry, I was at the gym when you called and I didn't want to come here all sweaty and gross so I cleaned up and all of a sudden I was ten minutes late."

I smiled nervously at her. All my previous confidence seemed to have dropped and now I was questioning my decisions once more. "It's all good," I mumbled, awkwardly. Oh god, I wasn't feeling too great.

"Hey, you look sick. What's wrong?" she asked, her words laced with concern.

"I have to tell you something," I said, dropping my head but I could feel her gaze on me.

"You can tell me anything, you know that." She said, softly, before placing her hand on mine which was starting to shake slightly.

"I think I'm bisexual,"

Fuck.

"Okay," she said, her voice seemed neutral and I was struggling to identify what she was feeling. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

"Okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, it doesn't matter," she said, and I could hear the smile in her voice.

"You're not surprised?" I asked, feeling slightly shocked at her response. It was good, I was happy but I was also terribly confused. 

"To be honest with you, no, but that's mainly because I never really thought about your sexuality enough to be surprised," she said, and my whole demeanour shifted. "However, I have to admit I saw the way you talk to Luca and I knew something had happened when you went on that drive with him. You were ignoring him and you seemed off. That's when I sort of figured it out. I wasn't sure of anything, I didn't think about it too much, to be honest. But I had a feeling."