Our Broken World

Chapter 9

Mikey is standing right in front of me, staring straight into my eyes. His skin looks darker, almost grey or maybe blue, I'm not really sure, because it's dark.

He's covered in blood, his clothes are ripped apart and he's barefoot.

His eyes are empty, his face expressionless and even though he's looking at me, it seems more like he's looking through me. But he isn't. He definitely sees me.

''Look at what they did to me,'' He says in a low growl, like an animal's voice. It's definitely not Mikey's voice.

''How could you let this happen?!'' He almost yells and steps towards me.

''It's your fault I'm dead! It's your fault I'm gone!'' He yells so loudly, I think my earbuds might explode. It's not a yell of a child, it's a yell of a desperate beast.

I awkwardly stomp backwards and hit the wall in the corner. How can he be here? I mean, he can't be. It's not him, that's clear to me. Then what am I seeing? My worst nightmare, my worst fear - that's what I'm seeing.

''No ... please. I'm sorry,'' I somehow manage to utter despite my completely dry throat and mouth.

''I'm sorry Mikey,'' I tell him. I know that's not actually Mikey, but it still looks like him. So much like him. In such an awful state. I let this happen – the thought creeps into my mind. It's all my fault. How do I know the real Mikey isn't in the exact same state, already dead, and his spirit is just visiting me to tell me the obvious? That he is dead because of me. That I let him turn into this thing standing in front of me.

I press against the wall even harder as he takes another step towards me. His eyes are full of anger and accusation, pain and anguish.

I can feel tears running down my cheeks. I don't want to see this. I don't want to see what they might've done to him. But I have to. I have no choice.

So I slump to the floor and let myself cry. He comes even closer, and I can see he's crying too.

His desperate, painful voice hurts me even more than his torn clothes. ''You should've protected me. You should've saved me. Instead you let me go. You let me DIEEEEEEE!''

He yells so loudly, it pierces through my skull and I scream because of the agony. Ringing echoes through my head, along with Mikey's screams. It's painful, but I don't fight it. I deserve it, I say to myself. For letting this happen. For letting him go.

He takes a step back and for a second I think he might actually leave me alone. But then he growls like a dog and throws himself towards me and I just scream and wait for the painful blow.

But it doesn't come. Because next thing I know Dylan is sitting next to me, saying something, but I can't hear him clearly, because of the ringing in my ears. Slowly, I regain my hearing and look at Dylan, who's asking if I'm okay.

I feel him rip off something from my temple and it leaves a raw, cold feeling in its place.

I burst into tears and mumble: ''I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's my fault, it's all my fault.''

I cry like a little child, but in that moment I don't care. I feel so guilty, so horrible, like the world's worst sister. Because I am.

I throw my arms around Dylan's neck and hug him so hard I almost suffocate him. I need somebody; I need him. I can't be alone right now. But then I start to think: If I lost Mikey, don't I deserve to be alone? Maybe that's my curse. Losing everyone I love. Mum, dad, Dylan, Mikey, then Dylan again.

But in this moment I don't care if he's gonna leave me again. I don't care if I'll lose him again. I have to tell the truth to someone.

''I'm sorry. I lied. Me and Mikey, we weren't attacked,'' I say quietly, so only Dylan can hear me, even though I don't actually know if anyone else is in the room. I don't care, so I don't look around.

I reluctantly let go of Dylan and force myself to look him in the eyes. I see such worry in them that it takes me by surprise. The shock makes me go silent for a moment, but I regain my focus quickly.

With tears still in my eyes, running down my cheeks, I say: ''He was attacked. I wasn't even there. I wasn't there to protect him, I left him alone. To go get some stupid water. I left him and he was taken. I let him get taken. I let him go. It's my fault he's gone. If he's dead ... it's all my fault. I'll never forgive myself.''

Dylan puts his palm on my cheek and caresses it with his thumb. ''Taya, it's not your fault. You can't blame yourself. It's ... the world we live in. It's this broken, cruel world. It's just how it is. It happened. You can't change that. And I'm so sorry that it did. But you're gonna get him back, you hear me? You'll find Mikey and you'll save him. I know that.''

I'm still crying, and I can't seem to bring myself to stop. I want to believe Dylan, I really do.

''What if I'm too late?'' I utter.

''You're not. Like you said, you can't give up hope. Not now, not yet. You've come so far and you still have a long way to go. But you'll make it. I know you will. I believe in you,'' He says in a soft voice, and I can see tears in his eyes.

''You believe in me, but you won't come with me. You won't help me. I don't know if I can do it by myself. I don't know if I can do it without you,'' I say, my voice cracking.

''Tay,'' Is all he says before he pulls me in for a long hug.

His strong arms embrace me like it's the last time he'll ever get to hold me. Like he's afraid to let go of me. I try to enjoy the warmth of his embrace, but it's hard with so much weighing down on me.

We pull apart after some time and I look around the room. Everyone is standing in the corner, staring at us. In the other corner lies a Mixed – if it is a mixed. The truth is, I don't know what it is. Because it's unlike any I've seen before.

It has a body almost in the shape of a human. It's grey and slimy and its hands and feet are elongated with sharp claws. It lies immovably on the hospital floor, its dark green eyes still staring at me.

''Thank God we came in time to kill that beast before it attacked you,'' Says Benson and looks at me.

''That thing was going to attack me?'' I ask and look at it again. To me, that was Mikey, just a few moments ago.

''Yep. It was already jumping at you. Dylan shot it and I finished it off on the floor,'' Benson adds.

I look at Dylan. ''What?'' he asks worriedly.

''I saw Mikey. That ... Mixed or thing ... was Mikey to me. He was different. Covered in blood and ... with ripped clothes. Dead,'' I say with an empty voice.

Dylan looks at it and says: ''It had something latched onto your temple. Like a tentacle.''

He shows me a long sort of tentacle coming from the Mixed, that ends with a little circle-shaped appendage. There are even more over the Mixed's head. I remember the cold slap on my temple and Dylan ripping something off it. The Mixed must've latched itself onto me.

''I've never seen anything like it. A Mixed that latches itself onto you and ... makes you see your worst nightmare and fear,'' I say.

Dylan looks back at me and says: ''I'm sorry you had to see that. You didn't deserve it.''

''Maybe I did,'' I tell him. For losing Mikey.

''No, Tay. Stop blaming yourself. No matter what happened, it wasn't your fault. I wasn't there, but I still know it wasn't your fault. I know you did everything you could to save him. You tried. You did everything right. And now you're gonna go get him and save him. It's gonna be okay,'' He tries to reassure me. 

I really appreciate it and I have to admit, it is working a bit.

I nod in response and give him a small smile, just for him. He helps me up and then we head towards the door. We pass the Mixed, which was just a few moments ago Mikey to me. I hope I never have to see him like that again. I hope I'm not too late.