save me

three

"now what about these shorts, hm?" i asked, realising that we weren't any closer to packing than before. i raised my hand to hold the shorts in front of him, noticing how pale the bassist suddenly appeared. it was like the fabric in my hands terrified him.

"no i'm- i can't wear those, no," he mumbled, starting to fiddle with his thumbs in his lap.

"oh lovey...why ever not?" i asked quietly, already knowing the answer. the fact that his legs looked like sticks and he still thought they were too fat for the world to see broke my heart. "they'd look lovely on you."

"it's, it's...no, they wouldn't. see, i still haven't lost the weight and-"

"but what weight is there to loose? you barely weigh anything as it is!" i insisted, grabbing his hand in mine and shuddering a bit when i realised how cold it was.

"we both know that's not true fre-" he started, but i interrupted him once again.

"deaky look at yourself! your hands are freezing, you look like a skeleton! your body needs nutrients, can't you see? listen, you're not fat and never were, okay?" i practically shouted, regretting my tone of voice as soon as i stopped talking.

john had ended up in his 'self defence' position, with his knees pulled up to his chest and his dangerously boney arms wrapped around them. his long hair was preventing me from seeing his face, but i could tell that he was on the verge of crying nevertheless.

"i'm, i'm sorry," he said in a small voice. i instantly felt a pang of guilt, making him cry was never my intention. i just wanted to help him, but i had no idea how.

i crawled closer to him and lifted him onto my lap, trying to ignore how easy it was to pick his frail body up. once he was seated, i wrapped my arms around him protectively and started talking.

"you don't have to apologise, love. it's my fault. i shouldn't have raised my voice at you. but deaks...you really aren't fat. at least try to believe it, hm?" i asked, earning a small nod in response.

"okay, but...can i just wear something else?" he raised his head to shoot me a quick pleading glance.

"of course you can. i'm not going to force you into anything. but keep in mind that it's a beach holiday- staying cooped up in your room in a hoodie and sweats like you're used to would be a shame, don't you think?" i asked, drawing invisible patterns on his back with the tips of my fingers.

"i know, it's just- i don't feel comfortable at beaches. you know, being surrounded by so many people while wearing close to nothing..." he trailed off, his eyes not daring to meet mine.

"well...what if i told you that that won't be the case?"

you see, i had secretly pulled a couple of strings, since i knew that my boyfriend wouldn't leave his hotel room all week if we were to go to a public beach. that's why i did my best to avoid that happening, paying extra so the four of us could have a small private beach for ourselves. going to a public beach with all those people wouldn't be good for john's eating problem. in fact, i had a feeling it would only make it worse.

"what- what do you mean?" he wondered, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. he honestly looked adorable.

"basically, i booked a house that'll be perfect for us, right on the shore. and it even came with a little beach area, which will be just ours for the entire week!" i was so excited to spend a week on holiday with my favorite boys and this made it even better. i could only hope that my boyfriend would share the excitement.

i shouldn't have worried, because when the information sank in, his lips formed a wide grin and his eyes looked at me with gratitude.

"you...you did that for me?" he asked, that beautiful smile of his still present.

"but of course! i'd do anything for you, dear," i said truthfully.

he just sat there for a few seconds, a look of utter bewilderment on his face, before enveloping me in a tight hug.

"thank you, thank you, thank you!" he exclaimed, moving his head to connect his lips with mine. i placed my arms on his waist, his staying wrapped around my neck as we kissed.

the force of the hug he had given me a few seconds prior to this had pushed me down onto the bed so i was now laid on the pillows with my gorgeous boyfriend on top of me. the kiss was filled with passion, lust and most importantly love. in that moment i forgot about packing, the trip, john's self-hatred...instead i focused on us, the here and the now.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

a/n: woohoo another chapter finished!
anyway i'd like to thank Schneemannnn for being the first person to read this book and for supporting it uwu ily ❤