Her || Jungkook X Reader (translated from italian)

CHAPTER 20 - THE DECISION

POV JUNGKOOK

I could not hold back the laughter that rose in my throat, I mean, that serious little face of hers and the way she welcomed my kiss before moved me to such a point that I could do nothing but feel stupidly happy.

I saw her head tilt to one side as a sign of confusion, her usual lovely gesture, but without removing her expression that seemed to say "what the fuck is so funny".

- I sincerely hope that you are going crazy because otherwise I swear that I will choke you with my bare hands. - her voice was at the limit between angry and amused.

- Sorry, I laugh because I can't believe how I'm behaving: completely crazy. In short, look at me, in the middle of the night, at your house, arguing with you. I can't believe how much power you have over me and I know, God, I know that all this mess happened because of me but what can I do, tell me? When I see you I feel like you have to be with me, I feel that you could become everything for me: joy, pain, love, suffering, you are a whole world in which I will never be able to enter. You understand that? Do you understand how much this hurts me? - I asked while stroking her hair.

She continued to look at me severely and my heart reacted by sending me a powerful pang.

- Y/N, I know it's not ideal... -

- That's enough. -

Her eyes were hidden by her long hair.

- Don't you see you're making a huge mess? What exactly do you want from me? I swear I tried to understand you, I tried to excuse certain behaviors because I do feel something for you but it's useless! With you I find myself so happy that I could touch the sky with a finger, and then I get so violently slammed to the ground with sadness... one moment is ecstasy and after that comes the pain and anxiety, I am tired. –

I remained silent and unarmed in front of her sincerity.

Perhaps it was true that I was an arrogant, self-centered child, I wasn't the least bit considering the confusion I was creating around me, which was somewhat paradoxical given the fact that every action I took was with the image of her in my head.

She was there on that sofa, so strong and fragile at the same time, frank and affectionate and above all tired, it seems. I felt stuck, I didn't know what to do, this conversation was destroying me from the inside and I felt the impulse to leave and leave her alone forever, if that would've made her happy.

- Forgive me. - Was all I could say before I got up from the couch and headed for the door.

My heart was begging me not to leave, to go back and comfort her, tell her that she already means the world to me and that her happiness had now become my only priority, but then my brain intervened and told me harshly that nothing I would say could change how things are; the situation was what it was and we had to accept it.

Well... I had to accept it.

A sudden warmth on my wrist made me realize that her little hand had grabbed mine and I turned towards her, leaning against the door of the still closed entrance.

How beautiful you are my love, full of life and full of love, full of everything I was searching for in a woman.

- Before you leave I would like only one last thing from you and then we forget all  about this mess. - a slight blush surfaced on her cheeks and that provoke my face to create a small smile on my lips, a little hope that perhaps she was changing her mind.

- Anything you want. - I answered without even thinking while she dangerously approached me.

My hands rested on her waist automatically, pulling her next to me as much as possible and in response she rested her hands on my chest without ever breaking our eye contact. God... my body simply reacts to her presence, how the hell can I ever forget about her?