Her || Jungkook X Reader (translated from italian)

CHAPTER 24 - EXAMINATION OF CONSCIENCE

POV YOU

And here I am, outside the club once again, this time hoping there's no other BTS member getting a blowjob around here.

I felt pretty drunk. I was able to walk, well... more than anything to wobble, but everything around me gave the impression that I find myself in a dream, my head was light and the brain blissfully turned off, in short, God be praised for this gift to humanity: alcohol.

All the while, Yoongi's hand gently squeezed mine and once out of the loud place, he turned to me with a very serious expression.

Ah! So cute!!

His sometimes frosty eyes now assumed a sweet and warm expression, illuminated by some thought he was about to give life to.

- Know that what I'm about to say was carefully thought out and analyzed by yours truly. - he announced with a half-smile drawn on his lips. He seemed excited.

- Ok... - I answered cautiously while smiling back at him.

- I'm not the sentimental type, I think you noticed it, and not even the type that falls in love at first sight but with you everything is different. -

A strange anxiety squeezed my heart and I felt so agitated... is happening what I'm thinking is happening? Is Yoongi confessing to me right now?

- You make me feel like nobody had done before, you woke up inside me the desire to be with someone and a smile of yours can easily illuminate whatever dark day I may have. I know it's complicated between us, I know I'm asking for a long distance relationship and I know it's a lot to ask, but exactly from the risks I'm willing to take with you, you can understand how much I want you by my side. –

I remained silent, the alcohol was beginning to give me a slight headache or maybe it was the situation that was shaking me to such an extent that it had negative repercussions on myself. I only knew that all I wanted to say at that moment was a resounding NO, but was it really the right thing to do? I mean... he is wonderful, polite, mature, so handsome... I am attracted to him, I can't deny that, he makes me feel calm and serene and he makes me happy but...

His eyes met mine and I winced knowing he was waiting for an answer. I took courage and spoke.

- Yoongi... you are very sweet and believe me, I would be very happy to say yes but I will be honest with you: I cannot. The situation is difficult between us and it's not not our fault. Besides... - I paused for a moment, undecided whether to be honest till the end - ... something is happening between us, something very strong, but to be honest... my heart does not belong to you. -

A heavy silence fell between us.

I stared at him, anxious for him to say something, anything, because his face was covered with a veil of bitterness that was breaking my heart little by little.

- I thought we were feeling the same things... - he whispered softly - ...but obviously I was wrong. Kook has won. -

- Yoongi it's not about Jungkook... -

- It's okay. - he promptly interrupted me – It's okay, really. I knew it would be a risk to ask you something like that, but honestly, I would've done anything for you. -

His words hit me like a dagger in the stomach.

- I'm sorry, I'm sure that if the situation was different... -

- We'd be perfect together. - he finished my sentence, drawing a shy smile on his lips.

At the sight of that smile I relaxed, I was afraid I offended him and I didn't want to lose his friendship, but apparently he understood my position and this did nothing but cheer me up even more.