Disparate (A Mashton Fan Fiction)

Chapter Eight

Why do I have any feelings? Why am I different than all other vampires? I thought angrily to myself clutching to the fabric of my shirt. I sat quietly on Ashton's toilet, shaking my foot. It seems like I've come to a thin line before my breaking point as of lately. I'm not supposed to feel any sorrow or anger or confusion or pain. I'm not supposed to be in ever the slightest way human. However I guess I'm nor human, nor vampire when it comes to my emotions. Yes, it may have been fairly rude for me to be in Ashton's bathroom while we're supposed to be hanging out but I want no sorts of communication with anyone at the moment. I want to crawl onto my bed along side the only boy who can relate to how I'm feeling. So we can whisper through the hole to one another about these confusing and unnecessary feelings. 

A slight knock disturbed my thoughts and my head shot up. I flushed the toilet, though it was in no way obligatory and opened the door to Ashton. He stared back at me before smiling sheepishly. 

"You took a while in there" Ashton chuckled and I only stared awkwardly. I suddenly stopped focusing on all other thoughts and came to the realization of what happened moments ago. Did Ashton and I almost kiss? It seemed like that's what happened, but it couldn't have been so. "My mom is bugging me about this project, so we should get started" He says and I nod leaving the bathroom, behind him. I sat quietly on Ashton's bed as he grabbed over his laptop and plopped beside me. I've come to acknowledge something strange as of lately.

Almost kissing Ashton, I didn't object in anyway. All the times he seemed to throw himself on me and the times I swore to myself I didn't care though I knew in the back of my head I did. Was it weird for me to think I may like him? Past the liking of friendship. Like I may be attracted to this boy? He turned his head towards me smiling. 

"So do you know anything about the book?" Ashton laughed and I shrugged my shoulders a little. I did not know shit on this book. The only time I've bothered to pay any sort of attention was when Ashton was talking. He's the only person to give me any attention, it'd be rude not to return the favor.

"No, absolutely nothing to be honest" I admitted and I began to read some of the plaques around his wall. Nothing stood out too much for me, mainly academics which wasn't surprising, Ashton was a smart kid. However, one of the many awards did. 

"Excellence in drumming" I nearly looked twice, how was I not aware that Ash played the drums? He continued to type on the keyboard to some website and I silently nudge him and when I get granted his attention I point at the framed certificate.

"You play drums? How did I not know this?" I ask and he looks at it before smiling.

"Yeah I do actually" He giggles, then stood up handing me the computer. Following to his closet he pulled out a small wooden box with duck tape spelling out the letters "ASH xx" on it.

He placed it on the carpet and I observed as he positioned himself on it. He firmly sat it down and when he was finally sitting comfortably looked in my direction, smiling. Slow and lightly he began tapping a beat. At first, I can admit it was nothing extraordinary but as he continued on I became flabbergasted. Ashton was absolutely amazing! You could easily see how happy he seemed while playing it and I enjoyed it as well. I leaned back and watched him with adoration as he continued on. After what seemed like seconds he stopped and giggled awkwardly staring at me.

"Ashton you're fantastic!" I nearly shouted and he moved the box over before sitting next to me once again.

"Well thanks, I'm not very good though. I only do it to pass time however I guess people enjoy it" He shrugs and I stare at him in confusion. How is he not aware at how amazingly talented he is? 

"No." I stammered and stood up staring him dead in his eyes "Ashton you are fucking amazing at drums and everything else. I want to hear you say it because for some reason you're oblivious that you are wholly wonderful." I demanded abruptly. and he looked back, with a bit of incertitude in his eyes, due to my random outbreak. Then, sadly he sighed.

"Michael, I'm really and truly far from amazing and you seem to be unaware of how horrible I am." he whispered and I sat back down. Why does he feel this way about himself? Ashton is a marvelous person and everything about him I can't help but love, why doesn't he feel the same way about himself?

"No Ashton you're amazing and I want to hear you say!" I demanded nearly shouting. His eyes became soft and he looked down sadly at his feet.

"I'm amazing." He mutters sheepishly and just the tone of his voice you could tell that he couldn't believe it any less. "Well now you say it" he quietly urges and I squint my eyes lightly in confusion.

"What do you mean?" I ask, beginning to shift around in his bed. His eyes lock on mine and his breaths become light as we stare at one another.

"I want you to say you're amazing as well. I want you to genuinely utter the commonly denied words that you, Michael Clifford are amazing."

"But I'm far from so" I say looking down and randomly the warm and long fingers which had grasped my hand many times before laced between mine.

"Michael Clifford you're amazing." He whispered and I met my focus down at our hands. His soft, gentle hand. Beautifully his affectionate green eyes staring at mine.

"You wouldn't believe so if you knew the truth.. I'm disparate Ashton."

"We're all a bit different"

"But not in similar ways" Then despite how we seemed to be engaging in a small argument he grinned widely.

"It's what makes individuality. If it makes sense, being different means being independent not categorized as the common groups set by society. It's one of the best things a person could have"

"See but that's not what I mean.." I started staring down, picturing how Ashton may hate me if I were to tell him who I was, what I was. "Ashton I'm not hum-" An interrupting slamming of Ashton's door abruptly broke in the middle of my sentence and a small blond boy stared at Ashton then me.

"Ashton can i use your beanie?" The kid asked and my heart must've nearly skipped a beat. I can't tell Ashton any of this, am I dumb! He would tell everyone and I would get the shit beat out of me and more time in the chamber, but God do I want to tell him.

Update! Haha hope you all enjoyed. :) How are you all doing? I'm well I suppose, rather down but more positive than possible so no complaints. How was your Halloween, any vampires? Hehe I'm corny but oh well \(^.^)/